I think I made a mistake...

My doctors appointment is tomorrow, so I was going to wait and update until then, in case something exciting happens (I have dreams of going in and them telling me that I'm dilated to like, a four, ha ha. Wishful thinking much?) But I really don't think we'll have any changes, and I did have a chance with the MIL, so, I decided to post about that instead.

My plan with my in laws was to not tell them in advance about when the c-section date is scheduled. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that was a revenge tactic that I was trying to pass off as a "I don't want any stress" thing. I don't want any stress - that's my main goal with this baby, to not repeat the very stressful birth experience that I had with Cayden.

Jeremy brought up a good point too - he says like it sounds like I want to be in control of the situation, and that's fine and he understands that, but that he thinks I'll have more control if I tell them in advance and then tell them in advance what time I want them there and all that jazz. He's afraid if we wait and tell them last minute, they'll be able to pull the "Oh, well George has to work" card or whatever, which could very well be true, and he said he would feel guilty telling them they couldn't see the baby then. But, if we told them now, they have plenty of time to plan, and therefore if they still find some excuse, he has no problem telling them to get bent.

I wasn't happy about it, but it did make sense. I know they have to visit some time, so at the very least I need to do all I can to make sure it's on my terms, right?

So Jer called them last night to tell them. And the whole thing has just left me feeling really uneasy, and I wish I could take it back and not tell them again. She only said a few things that were borderline annoying, but I just have a really bad feeling about the whole deal - especially since Jeremy wasn't super firm about the rules we had agreed to put into place.

We told them that we wanted people to call before they came. We said we wanted to kind of "schedule" visitors so that everyone didn't show at once. Mary Anne was like "Oh Goody, because I want that baby all to myself." Which, I guess is a normal thing to say, but it makes me feel really territorial (and for the record, I feel this way when other people say it too, it's not just a MIL thing) Then she asked if anyone else would be there when they visited, and Jeremy mentioned that my Mom may or may not be there. To which Mary Anne replied "Well of course she will be, she's Grandma, Grandma's can do what they want."

I don't know if this was meant as a dig because my Mom is around a lot, or if she was trying to infer that she thinks even though Jeremy mentioned these "rules" that because she's Grandma she doesn't have to follow them.

If it was a dig, it's bullshit, and she's yet to come out and say anything directly against my Mom, but if she does, I'm not holding back. My Mom is around a lot, but it's because my Mom makes the time to do so, and is a help when she is around. When Jeremy had his knee surgery and I was 9 months pregnant, Mary Anne and George stopped by ONCE. My Mom? Came over every day after work. She checked on Jeremy, brought us dinner, and left. When the baby was born, my Mom came over every day - but not just to sit on her ass and hold the baby. She cooked, she cleaned, she let me sleep. And I get that Mary Anne and George are older and bigger with more health issues, so I don't even expect them to do as much. But the fact that Mary Anne doesn't have a job and she can't even bother to pick up the phone and say "hey, how's my Grandson?" speaks volumes. So no, I don't feel guilty that it's my Mom that's around more. If they wanted to be, they could be.

If it was her way of saying she was going to ignore my rules... Well, she's in for a shock, because I will kick her out of the hospital. I'm hoping it's just my pregnancy hormones and she didn't mean anything by it, but I just have a bad feeling about this whole thing.

I just wish Jeremy would have been more firm about things. I think I would feel better knowing they knew what we wanted. I was going to skip Mary Anne's birthday dinner, but now I think I'll go so *I* can be the one who says "Look, these are the rules, you follow them or you get out."