Cayden's 18 month pictures (4 months late!)

We only ended up buying four pictures. Which, makes me sad - I would have liked to have gotten the majority of them. But there are more important things to spend the money on. Plus, it sounds horrible but I have SO many pictures of Cayden and they're waiting to be framed and hung and I just NEVER get around to it. So.













































I think he looks pretty cute.

Alright, I have to run - doctors appointment in a little bit, but I wanted to make sure I shared those!

Hopefully this works...

I'm currently picking up someone elses internet connection - so hopefully I can type this out and post it before it cuts out on me!

People are having babies galore! It's hard not to be jealous. As I stated in the last post, on one hand, I want it to be my time. I can't wait to meet the little guy (or girl. Seeing as how we still don't know for sure! But I'll stick to calling the baby him, because I feel weird calling the baby 'it') But on the other hand, I am enjoying the time left - just the three of us. And I think Cayden senses it'll be coming to an end soon too. He's SUPER clingy to me, to a point where he doesn't even want to stay with my Mom, which is weird, because when he was younger? He'd pick mom over ANYONE - including me! He's a little clingy with Jeremy too, but it's mainly me. To the point where he's waking up in the middle of the night calling for me. Which stinks because he was starting to consistantly sleep through the night. I joke that he's just trying to prepare me for a newborn.

I did tell you guys that we don't know if the baby is a boy or a girl anymore, right? I can't remember anything anymore, and since my internet connection is spotty, sometimes things happen and by the time I get to post about them, I've forgotten about it. We went in for our 20 week scan, expecting it to be confirmed that the baby was a boy. But nope - the tech said "I see no boy parts." But she couldn't confirm girl either. Everyone keeps saying "Oh, well this means you can hope for your girl now!" But really, I am going INSANE and I just want to know! I always said that if we have a third (which is a big if!) since it'll definately be our last, we won't be finding out. But I don't know if I could do it! I think it's gotta be the worlds most awesome surprise, but I'm seriously going mad. I know it's dumb, because all in all, who cares? But I just feel like now I can't decorate because what if it turns out to be a girl? Then I've stuck her with a load of boy clothes, in a boy decorated room. I mean, obviously she won't know the difference, nor will she care, but I will! I think because I went with the mindset of finding out, because we haven't, I'm going nuts. I would LOVE to get another ultrasound, but we frankly don't have the 100 bucks to do it. Anyone want to loan me 100 bucks?

...Yeah, I didn't think so. So, we go back at the end of August because they also couldn't measure the baby's heart. So hopefully they'll tell me then. Because I think if they can't, then we'll just wind up not knowing till he/she gets here.

Cayden's pictures today turned out better than I expected, especially seeing as how he walked into the room crying! I wish we had more money, I'd like to order more prints, but we got the ones that were REALLY cute, so that's all that matters. Now we're gearing up for Cayden's second birthday party. How freaking crazy is that??? Two more months and he'll be two. Where did the time go? Can I get some of it back please? He's talking more and just... Such a little person. Of course, he scratched the crap out of his face before we got pictures - he always does that. But when we get them in, I'll have to scan them and post them. My son is adorable!

I think that's all that's been going on. We've been shopping for Cayden's birthday presents/Christmas presents. Since the baby is due beginning of December (and I'm fully expecting to go late) I want to be DONE with shopping so I don't have to go out super pregnant/with a newborn. Plus, as I've said a million times, we're broke, so we're trying to do a little at a time, and catch sales. So if you know of any sales - pass them on! The big one we hit up this weekend was Once Upon a Child (70% off their clearance, we got Cayden a shake and go car track with two cars for four bucks!!!) and Kmart (50% off their clearance - Elmo cars and we picked up his Elmo cuddle and care doll, which we'll give him when the baby is born as his big brother present!) If anyone is selling any Elmo things, sees any on sale, sees any other toys on sale, let me know!

Now onto pictures!


Baby bump from the top, where it actually looks like a bump.



Baby bump from the side, where it looks like I'm fat. Ignore the dumb look on my face and the creepy cat in the back, lol.



Cayden milking the fiberglass cow at COSI. He's concentrating super hard!



Cayden putting on my shoes and walking around the living room in them. Silly kid!



Cayden meeting his idol, Elmo.




My son, the DJ!



What a life! Not only did I dress him, but he gets to lay on the couch and eat doughnuts!

afternoon rambles.

I'm on my phone, so I apologize in advance for any tpos, it's realllly hard to go back and edit... But, I'm reallllly bored. I should probably becleaning but I'm not feeling so hot today - a combination of this cold I have, lack of sleep from ayden waking up a bunch of last night, ad some morning sickness coming back (because I was so tired this morning and had a bunch of errands to run I didn't eat until like noon - which having an empty stomach for that long is a no-no while pregnant)

besides, we're taking cayden to my husbands family day at work tomorrow, and while it'll be fun, it's going to be HOT. So I'm resting now to prep for that.

these next couple weeks are so full - we're finally getting around to taking cayden to get his 18 month pictures done - 4 months too late. I was just going to leave it alone until he turned two but we got a coupon for a free 8x10 and sitting fee, so I figured why not. Now I just need to decide what to put him in.

one of my friends gave birth to her baby yesterday. I'm insanely jealous. Halfway done seems far along until I realize that I have 5 months lft. I'm getting impatient! Buuuut, on the other hand... I don't know. I'm glad for the time we have left. I mean it's all selfish reasons - it's hard enough trying to find a sitter for just ayden. When I have two it's going to be impossible. And obviously I knew that would be the case when we started trying, and it's not a HUGE deal, but just something I'm enjoying while I still can. Same as time with cayden - I wanted cayden to have a sibling, and knew I would have to split my time between them. What I didn't realize is how anxious that would make me. I know I'll love both kids, but I'm worried that I'll favor one over the other. And what do I do if they're both crying? Both wanting to be held? Don't get me wrong, this is again, something I was aware of, but again, I'm enjoying these last few months as a family of three. I'm enjoying lavishing attention on cayden and not feeling like it'll never be equal, if that makes any sense.

I guess it doesn't help that I'm the last of 3. Theone with the fewest pictures (because mom was too busy and too broke to print pictures of me) the one with theepty baby book. I'm not really resentful (anymore, ha)but I just realize - you take a zillion pictures with your first because you have the time. There's one of you, and one baby. You don't have to watch/play/chase after another. And I mean - even if I took a zillion pictures of this one cayden would end up in a lot of them. I mean I will never be able to spend the type of time with this one as I did with cayden, because cayden was the first and only.

I hope I'm making sense. I'm not trying to complain, honestly. I'm just trying to explain that on the one hand I want the baby to be here. To meet it and hold it, to see it with cayden. But in the meantime I'm enjoying how things are right now.

Not having the internet stinks

But, not having cable stinks even more. It doesn't help that Cayden has been asking for Elmo non-stop. We have 3 elmo dvds, that play 3 episodes each of Elmo's world. We've watched them non-stop and I hate that little red monster. We also have Elmo in grouchland, but a.) that movie creeps me out a little, and b.) it's missing in action (and I swear, I had nothing to do with it's disappearence. As much as it creeps me out, honestly I'm so sick of watching those same 9 Elmo dvds I would put it on just for a change up.)

Luckily, we've been out of the house all weekend, so no Elmo. However, the second we walk into the house, that's what Cayden asked for. Repeatedly. He even says please without having to be prompted. Elmo has some sort of magic crack dust that he sprinkles on toddlers. Ugh.

My Mom felt bad when she found out we didn't have any cable, and she went out and bought him a few new DVDs, which was really nice. He stayed over here last night, so we haven't had the chance to watch them yet, but I really do appreciate it. She also bought him Elmo's potty time DVD, as well as Elmo's big kid underpants. While watching the DVD and wearing his big boy pants, he went into the kitchen and peed on the floor. So much for that, eh?
Let's see, what else is going on? Friday we went to the ultrasound, and I left pretty dissappointed. Sprout looks healthy, which of course is first and foremost, but they had issues measuring certain things, so while the lady insisted over and over that she didn't think anything was wrong, they want me to come back. I love the fact that I get another peek at Sprout, buuuuuut, a.) it makes me nervous that they for sure can't tell me that everything's OK. Dumb, I know, but I've been uber paranoid this whole pregnancy. b.) The lady could not confirm that Sprout is in fact, a boy. She actually said "I saw no boy parts." Yet, she couldn't confirm girl either. I know some people think this should make me happy - because now I can once again hope for my girl. But I don't want hope - I just want to know. I was getting used to the fact that I was having my second boy, and now I'm back in "I don't know" land. Not to mention - the 20 week ultrasound is NOT just for finding out the sex. It's the anatomy scan, where they will look for sex, but it's not an important factor. They're measuring things, making sure things like the kidneys look good and such. So I'm terrified that I'll go back at 25 weeks when they want me back, and they still won't be able to tell. And then I'll be stuck not really knowing until birth.

It's, of course not the worst thing to happen, but now I don't want to buy anything, or redecorate what I thought would be the boy's room since we aren't for sure. However, I do suppose nothing in life is for sure. So. I dunno.

Saturday we took Cayden to the zoo for the kids fair they were having. The zoo has a lot of neat events like this - fall fest, boo at the zoo (where the kids dress up and visit candy stations around the zoo), eggs, paws, and claws (an easter thing at the zoo) Still, this was the best one yet, and we got a bunch of free stuff, which is nice. Cayden had a good time, and we got to see the baby gorilla the zoo took in. At it's old zoo, it got beat up by the other gorilla's, and actually lost a foot because of it. This baby is so sweet, it's one of those "awww, I want one!" animals.

Sunday we took Cayden to COSI, the children's museum, to see the farm exhibit they had. It was OK, but it was hot, the exhibit was outside, and after the hot day we spent at the zoo, I was pretty wiped out. I thought the construction exhibit they had was better, but it was still worth it, and fun.

Tonight we're hitting up the county fair with Cayden. In a few weeks the Ohio State Fair is in town, and we're hoping to have enough money to go. We'll have friends in town. Then for my sister's birthday, she wants to go to the zoo's waterpark - it's expensive, but she has a buy one get one free coupon, and she's nice enough to pay for herself and get one of us in for free, and then a few months ago we went to a vacation show and one a free ticket, so for us it'll be free, which is nice. It stinks that I'm pregnant and won't be able to do the waterslides, but it'll be neat to take a look around and see if it's worth asking for a membership for my birthday or something.


That about sums it up. We didn't get any pictures of Sprout at the ultrasound - most of them were measurement pictures, so not really interesting. I have pictures of Cayden over the weekend, but I'm on my Mom's work laptop and can't upload them.

Same ole same ole

Oh man. I feel like it's been weeks since I've written, and it hasn't been. I wish I had something to report, but really not much has happened. Our internet and cable has been shut off, but I'm still able to get on randomly. It's spotty, but better than nothing.

We're toying with changing Elijah's name. I dunno, with Cayden he was Cayden from the start - before we even knew he was a boy. Our girls name changed forty five times, but Cayden never changed. I don't know if I'm so iffy on names because I was just so SURE it was a girl. I keep going back and forth. Elijah's the name I like best, but I'm still not sure it's the one. People keep making fun of me, telling me it's just a name... But names are really important to me. I mean this kid is going to be stuck with it for the rest of his life. It's like, women shop a million stores and sometimes drop a lot of money on a wedding dress that they wear for one day - why wouldn't I put more care into my son's name?

We go Friday for our next ultrasound. It's the "big" one - the anatomy scan. I'm hoping they'll be able to confirm he's a boy. Well, I'm really hoping they tell me they were wrong and it's a girl, but I just hope that we'll be able to tell something. If the baby is being stubborn, I feel like I'll be wondering the rest of my pregnancy if it's really a boy, even though the pictures are pretty clear. I'm just paranoid, lol.

Other than that, the pregnancy is getting pretty routine. I'm starting to swell, but nowhere as bad as I did with Cayden. My back hurts, my legs hurt, I'm peeing every five seconds. Ah, the joys, eh? :-)

I've been nesting, which in a way is a blessing and a curse. My house is the cleanest I think it's ever been (well, for the most part. The second Cayden gets up he goes to work on destroying the living room. Every time I clean it up I wonder why bother - it's just going to get destroyed anyway. I wonder sometimes if Cayden thinks it's his job to destroy it. Like I see it messy and think "Oh no, not again, I just cleaned this!" and I wonder if he gets up and thinks "Oh no, not again, I JUST messed this up!") But with nesting, it's like, I can't stop. Stuff has to be so perfect, I scrubbed my bathroom floors with a toothbrush! It was nuts. I'm not a clean person either. I don't view myself as dirty, but messy is a better word. So it's leaving me very sore at the end of the day, lol.

Cayden's becoming more and more adorable. I love how I ask him a question and he repeats one word of the question:
Me: Cayden, are you hungry?"
Cayden: "Ungry!"
Me: Do you want lunch?"
C: "Unch!"
Me: "Do you want a grilled cheese?"
C: "Cheese!"

That's about all I got. Hopefully I'll be able to sign on friday and let y'all know how the ultrasound went. We have a busy weekend too - COSI on Saturday to see this farm exhibit and a kid's fair Sunday at the zoo. So maybe I'll wait till Monday and post pictures too.

There's not a whole lot going on right now. I'm so bored I'm considering going to clean my room, which is a mess, but I'm hesitating because we have no trash bags. And, because I'm feeling insanely lazy. We went to a 4th of July party last night and I woke up feeling hung over, even though I obviously didn't drink anything other than water and soda. Blah.

I have new pictures of Cayden I'd like to upload, only my sister came over yesterday to put songs on her MP3 player. When she does that, she unplugs the cord I need to upload pictures. I think Cayden must have found it and ran off with it, because I have no idea where it is. I also have hilarious pictures of Jer from the party last night, but again, no way to upload them.

Other than that... Well, I've got nothing. I'm 18 weeks pregnant on Tuesday, which is crazy to me. I have no idea where the time went. We're also having our internet/cable shut off on the 8th. They want 100 dollars, and we just don't have it, so off it goes. Jeremy thinks we may still be able to get online using our phones as modems, but that makes me nervous because I remember reading an article where a guy did that and got charged out the wazoo for doing it. He says it's included in our bill already, but I'm still super paranoid. If not, I'll try to update using my phone if I can figure out how to do it. We have to keep our phones on because we're on a family plan, and if we get shut off, so do my brother and sister, and they wouldn't be happy about that.

I do have my anatomy scan on the 16th, where we'll get a confirm on boy or girl (although, again, I think it's pretty obvious that Elijah's a boy.) So, I'll try to let you know how that goes :-)

Happy 4th y'all!