Quick update

Been a little MIA - sorry bout that. Things have been hectic trying to get ready for Cayden's birthday and his party. And, I'm either starving or tired - I feel like I eat every hour and I'm starting to worry about weight gain. I've done well this whole pregnancy, I keep trying to tell myself that this is when the baby needs the extra calories, but it's hard. I could also be making better food choices when I eat, but I'm not, so that part's my fault.

Cayden's actual birthday went pretty well. I'll post pictures after his party so that everything is up at once. We took him in the morning to the Fire Museum, which he LOVED because he loves firetrucks, and then we took a nap and went out to dinner. Dinner was nice, but my MIL didn't show. She claimed to be "sick" which - anyone who knows my MIL stories knows this is her MO with things. On the one hand, I don't care. We had a REALLY nice dinner without her. On the other hand though, I'm like... Really? It's your Grandson's birthday and you're pulling this crap? The only people she's hurting are herself and her grandchild. I know she wasn't sick because on the way home she asked for my FIL to stop and get her Mexican. A.) If you've been vomiting all day, who the hell wants to eat mexican food? Rice - maybe. But I want something easy on my stomach, and Mexican is not. B.) If you've been throwing up all day, why are you going to go and spend 15 bucks on a meal that you most likely will puke back up anyway? It is a waste.

Whatever. The only other snag in the day was an almost snag - we ordered a cake for Cayden's birthday last week. We were supposed to pick it up Tuesday at 1. Cayden and I laid down for a nap, Jer went to go get the cake. Guess what? The guy who took the order never PLACED the order.

Luckily the person who was there offered to whip up a cake really fast - which was really nice, but I'm just kind of peeved that the order wasn't placed. I'm just glad we didn't go ahead and pay for it, because they probably would have made us pay again.

Anyway, I'm tired, and still hungry, lol, and I need to pull out all of Cayden's clothes to get rid of the ones that are out of season/don't fit. I promise, once this week is over you'll get a longer post and pictures of the festivities.

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.

My son is almost two. In a little over two months, I will have another baby, and we'll start this whole thing over again.

There are days when I ask myself WHY I wanted to do it all over again - it may sound horrible but I think every parent has them. Sometimes they have nothing to do with how my son is acting... Like the other night when he woke up screaming because somehow his diaper came off and he had wet himself and his bed majorly. He was so upset that I couldn't put him down in order to change his sheets or get him new pajamas. I was really surprised that my husband or my Mother didn't wake up. Anyway, it was just a sucky situation where I didn't know what to do - and it being the middle of the night I was tired. I couldn't help but think "what happens when there's another one waking me up at night? What happens when that one starts crying at the same time as this one? Who do I mother first? How do I mother both?"

Sometimes, my son is bad. Please don't be like my Mom and say that he's not bad. He is. I get it, he's 2, most of the time he doesn't know better. Sometimes, he does. Either way, it still doesn't matter - if anything it's MORE frustrating when he DOESN'T know better.

I digress - my point is, there are some days that ANY parent can attest too, where I have to ask myself WHY I want to add to the madness. Why I want to increase my stress and my workload. What the hell made me think this was a good idea?

But then there are those moments... When my son tells me he loves me. Or he kisses my belly and says "baby" without being prompted. Or even when he does something "bad" but it's one of those things where it's so hilarious you just can't get angry at him for doing it. When he comes and sits on my lap to watch TV. There are days when he learns new things and shares them with me out of the blue, and once again I'm amazed at how smart and complex this little being is... And maybe they don't always happen when they should or how often they should, but maybe because of that I want to do it all over again. Maybe it could be considered being selfish. But, I love my son so very much, and all I want is another one to share that with. Like a vacation you loved, I want to go back year after year, and when I have moments like that, I can't help but wonder how people ever STOP having children. It suddenly changes from "how am I going to handle two" to "how am I going to handle it when I know we're done having children?"

I love the quote I used above because it's so true. I've said it many times before - motherhood is such a push and pull. Yes, I want to see who my son becomes, yes I love watching him learn new things and grow, but I don't want him to grow up. I don't want him to become a big boy, and while I'm always excited when he learns something new... I also have to cry a little inside. Because it seems like yesterday he needed me for EVERYTHING. He couldn't walk, talk, or even sit up on his own. Hell, he couldn't even hold his own bottle. And all I did was blink, and look at him.

Sounds like life to me

First, I just want to thank everyone for understanding my little rant the other day. I know when people talk about c-sections on Babycenter, mom's tend to get SUPER defensive. There ARE valid reasons for c-sections. I'm not saying they should be banned all together. But I do think that if everything looks normal, your body should be given a shot. Vaginal birth is the safest thing for Mom and baby - IF everything looks normal - there are ALWAYS instances where things pop up and change the game. But I think people are jumping to c-sections to avoid birthing problems, and don't realize a c-section can bring on a whole new set of problems. And the fact of the matter is, yes, things CAN go wrong in a vaginal birth - even if all your pregnancy signs point to "normal". But that's life. Things can happen every day, but you're not sitting in your house to avoid them, are you?

So to sum it up, I just think my body should be given a shot to do what it does. If they come up with a valid reason for needing the c-section, I'll do it. If baby has issues in labor, I'll go right in for a section. But I would like a shot at it.

Moving on to other things...

This next month is going to be hella busy, and that's insane, because September already seemed to fly by, and being so busy in October is going to make IT fly by, and then we're on to November and I'll pretty much be on baby countdown. I'm being so lazy with this child - nothing is done. I really need to wash clothes and set up the bassinet, but first I need to unpack everything else to make room for the bassinet... I dunno, it just went by too fast. I'm 29 weeks, and it's like... When the hell did that happen exactly? However, with my son it seemed once I hit 30 weeks time stood still, and I'm actually kind of hoping that happens this time around!

Anyway, this weekend we have Oktoberfest, and then Cayden's one year pictures on Sunday. My baby turns two on tuesday! Which kills me. I'll be seeing the in-laws, ugh, and would normally say look forward to stories, but I dunno if there will be any. My family will also be there, and my MIL seems to behave herself when they're around, so we shall see.

I talked Jeremy into taking Cayden's birthday off, and we're taking him to COSI to see the Clifford exhibit they have there. Then we're going out to dinner at Quaker Steak and Lube which I think Cayden will like because it's kind of Cars themed. We bought his birthday cake for his actual birthday, and it's Cars themed. Wednesday Cayden goes to the doctor, Friday I go to the doctor, Saturday we'll be preparing for Cayden's birthday party which is on Sunday. Then the following weekend we have our friend's son's one year birthday, and then later the same friend is having a grad party. Sunday is Colo's classic car show at the zoo, we'll be taking Cayden. I'll have a doctors appointment sometime that next week, as well as probably an ultrasound - ugh. The 16th and 17th is our ONLY open weekend, and we're looking at doing the pumpkin patch then, then the following week is the pumpkin show, then we have another birthday party Saturday, and that Sunday is my baby shower! Then the next weekend we'll be doing a Halloween thing called Boo at the Zoo. Then we're on to November! And the only thing I have in November is my MIL's birthday, the wildlights members preview for their Christmas lights, and my cousin's wedding. I really don't think I'll be scheduling anything else - I'll take that month off to focus on baby, lol.

I wish we weren't so jammed packed in October, but I just want to do as much stuff as possible with Cayden, because we won't be going out much once the new baby comes, especially if I need a c-section. I already feel badly, because as of lately we've been at home, with mommy lazing on the couch until Daddy gets home. 2 reasons for this: I'm so freaking tired lately, it's insane. The second reason, we're down to one car - which I'll get too later in this post.

I don't think the baby has dropped, but I do think that he's had to have turned or something. I wasn't really feeling very pregnant and then last night BOOM! I'm having issues turning over in bed. I feel like I need a forklift to move me. I'm not sleeping well, I feel like it takes extra effort to move, and I think all that is contributing to my exhaustion. Plus, we've been non stop these past couple weeks, and will continue to be. So.

Now. Down to one car thing: Our car got repo'd. Yup. Some of you might have seen that coming, with all our money issues. I, however, was blindsided by it, and I'm pretty pissed off.

We talked to our car company. We told them our issue. We asked them if it would be OK if we paid half payments for awhile. They agreed.

Cool. I realize this was really nice of them, and they didn't have to agree. They're a business, not our friends, and they need to make money too - I get that. But they did agree, and it was honestly the one silver lining in all this other shit that's been going on.

So we've been making half payments. We go back up to the house on Sunday, even though we completely moved on Saturday, to meet our old neighbor for a trip to the zoo. Had we not gone up? They wouldn't have repo'd us, because they wouldn't have been able to find us. But, that's a moot point. Anyway, we ride in her car to the zoo, because it's bigger than ours and will fit all of us, and that way we don't have to all pay for parking (originally parking would be free under our zoo memberships, but her husband forgot to give her her membership card, and we lost ours and were going to get a replacement card that day.)

We come back from the zoo, and I'm like "Who's the asshole blocking our car in?"

Yup. Repo man. Here's why I'm mad - if half payments stopped being good enough, why didn't they say something to my husband when he called to make a payment a week ago? They didn't say anything to him. And the kicker was, we were going to make a double regular payment this week - since we moved out and now have no bills to really speak of - Our first priority was getting the car payment caught up, and then we were going to start saving to move out.

Well, they want 900 dollars to get the car back. I don't have 900 dollars. So I guess they can keep the car.

I mean again, I hope it doesn't sound like I'm throwing a fit because they took the car - I get it, I shouldn't get something for nothing. I'm just a little agitated that they told us one agreement was OK, and then didn't tell us when it stopped being OK.

I guess it's a blessing in disguise though. It sucks being down to one car, but we really have like, zero bills now - besides our cell phone bill and groceries and that kind of stuff.

The other beef is that my medicaid was FINALLY approved - which is kind of hilarious because we tried to submit the paperwork multiple times, each time being told they never got it. Jeremy was going to actually take it down there to drop it off after the move was over, but before he could do that he got a call that they approved it. Too bad now that we have to resubmit some stuff since we moved - and we can't get an answer on which office we need to go too - Our paperwork is at the office up by our old house, but we don't know since we'll be living down here if we need to go to this office down here. Basically, I feel like by the time my medicaid goes through, I will have already had this baby and won't need it. And it's just so frustrating.

We're going to have to file for bankruptcy. I don't think there's another option.

So that's life in a nutshell right now. I'm actually kind of glad that we've seemed to hit bottom, because now there's no place to go but up, right? Unless of course, the bottom falls out, lol.

My doctor can suck it

This post is a rant, and it's chock full of MY opinions. I do realize that many women have different opinions - and that's fine. But just be forewarned, these are MY opinions.

I think most of you know Cayden's birth story... My doctor with Cayden... Was not very good. I thought at the time she knew what she was doing, because hey - she was a doctor and I wasn't, right? But looking back... I dunno. I think some professions people put a lot of blind, undeserving faith into - like fireman, policeman, doctors... I'm not saying that people in this profession are automatically bad or anything... I just think we're a lot more willing to automatically trust someone in those fields, if that makes any sense. I just think people are more willing to question a mechanic about choices rather than a doctor. And that's what I did with my doctor - I figured she knew best.

Again, hindsight is 20/20 and I know see how full of shit she was. She misdiagnosed my gall bladder attacks for heartburn, which led to my pancreatitus. She automatically scheduled me for my c-section the day after my due date because my son was larger, and she deemed me small, and didn't even want me to try.

Then I just wanted my son out, and since she told me that was the safest way possible, well, I believed her. However, you live and learn. Not that it ended up mattering - I ended up actually NEEDING the c-section because of my pancreatitus.

I just think in this day and age doctors are pushing c-sections more and more - and this is actually a fact. C-section rates are sky high. And I don't really think they need to be.

Don't get me wrong - MANY medical advances have saved babies and I do know that there are cases of legit c-sections. Mine was a wonderful example - had I gotten the section for the "large baby" that, in my opinion, would have been bullshit. But with the pancreatitus, it really was the safest thing for both Cayden and I. I needed it.

But I think plenty of Mom's follow doctors orders and don't realize that they may not need a section, and that a section is a major surgery that has HUGE risks to both Mom and baby. Again - when there are legitimate complications in birth/pregnancy, sometimes those risks are far less than the risks labor would bring. But sometimes I do believe doctors schedule sections for their own convienance. Because they don't want to be troubled with what MIGHT turn into a complicated birth (and let's face it - ANY birth can turn out complicated. You can't predict the future.) I think doctors SOMETIMES like the fact that they know when they're going in, know when they'll be leaving, and can charge an INSANE amount of money for it.

Again, I REPEAT, because I KNOW some section mama's get defensive: SOMETIMES SECTIONS ARE NECESSARY AND ARE LIFE SAVING. I just don't think that happens as often as sections are preformed.

My whole triad here was brought on because I really want what's called a VBAC - Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. There are certain risks attached with it and I do understand why all c-section mom's don't choose this route. Besides, just because you do opt for it, doesn't mean you'll get it. But, I do believe it's the right choice for me.

And I feel like my odds are pretty good. I don't feel my baby is large (not that that really matters - women have been pushing out babies for YEARS, and MANY women have had larger babies than my 8 lbs 10 oz son.) There's been a good amount of time between my pregnancies... I haven't had any complications yet - knock on wood - and all in all, it seems like I have a good chance.

Especially considering that the first doctor I had during this pregnancy was the one who suggested the VBAC - I originally thought that because of how they cut me I was not allowed to VBAC, and she searched my files and found that yes, I was able to have one.

But then she had to leave, and I got a new doctor. And this doctor seemed more hesitant to do it - but still seemed willing. So that was good with me.

Now... Now I'm not so sure. I was in there Friday for my lovely rogham shot and my even lovelier glucose testing. (Which, btw, warm glucose? is DISGUSTING.) I'm sitting in the room waiting for my doctor to come in, when I hear her outside the door talking to someone. She says "This one's a c-section, but she wants a trial of labor."

...This one is NOT a section. This one has a name, and it is not c-section, it is Laura. This one does NOT want a c-section, and this one doesn't just want a "trial of labor" this one wants a VBAC.

So that agitated me. Then she comes in, and asks me if I still am considering a VBAC. Nope - not considering it - it's what I want, and my mind is not going to change, thanks. So then she starts once again talking about the risks, which I do know all about. And then she says "Well, we're going to schedule you for an ultrasound at 32 weeks and see how big baby is. If you're carrying a toddler, we might want to reconsider."

A.) I LOVE how "we" got put into this. WE are not reconsidering ANYTHING. I am the one who has to carry this baby for 9 months. I am the one who either has to push it out or get cut open. It is not OUR decision, it is MY decision.

B.) Ultrasounds are notoriously bad at predicting baby's size - especially this late in the game - and can be wrong up to 2 lbs. Jeremy had two seperate co-workers induced early for large babies - both of which were on the small side.

The more she talks the clearer it is to me that she is going to pull whatever trick she has up her sleeve to take away my VBAC. My Mom thinks I'm paranoid - and that she won't do it unless she has good reason to do it. But again, I really believe this is just the whole "blind faith" thing I was talking about earlier. A doctor would NEVER schedule a c-section JUST because it's easier - they must have a valid reason for doing so, right?

And again - if she told me my baby had a heart condition and labor might be too stressful - no questions asked I would schedule that c-section in an instant. If I need it, for me or the baby, I will do it. But because I MIGHT be having a larger baby? (which, for the record, I put money on the fact that this baby will be smaller than Cayden was. It just doesn't feel as large as he ever did. And all the issues I had with Cayden? I don't have with this one.)

I just don't buy it. And it really frustrates me that I may not even get a chance because my doctor isn't on the same page as me.

That is all I guess. Frustration.

Facebook being down is unacceptable

Seriously. I am JONESING for some facebook. I've been crazy busy today (or rather crazy tired - yes, too tired to even check facebook on my phone.) And I haven't had access to the computer either... And now that I do? Facebook is not loading for me. Unacceptable.

OK, it just popped up. All is better now.

Anyway, just a quick update on how things are going...

We're still not completely moved, nor are we completely unpacked. I do feel like it's never ever going to get done. Really it's my fault - I've been so lazy after the move that it's no shocker that nothings gotten done. I have promised myself that I will unpack the boxes in our room tomorrow. I have a goal of eventually going through our dresses and reorganizing stuff, cuz we've run out of room and it's hard to find anything. But that's more of a long term goal, lol.

My job is good - and I like it a lot actually. It gets boring sometimes, I do hate, hate, HATE filing. HATEEEEEEE. But lately I've been so busy with other things that I haven't gotten around to filing, which makes me happy because I haven't done it, but sucks because just because I haven't gotten to it doesn't mean it's gone away - the pile has only gotten bigger.

I love the lawyers I work for. They're opposites - one is louder and more outspoken and known to throw curse words around in a hilarious fashion. The other is more serious, but not in a stick-up-the-butt kind of way. They're just really nice guys, the both of them, and I tend to laugh a lot while there. Plus some of the cases they take on are interesting to hear about. Like a soap opera.

Cayden has exploded in growth lately. I swear I look at him and every day he looks like he's grown. He's talking like crazy, into EVERYTHING, but has also gotten more helpful - he LOVES to throw things away for me. It really happened overnight and is just.... Crazy. Can't believe the kid will be 2 at the end of the month. What happened to my baby? Still, he's so much fun... Well, most of the time. Sometimes to be honest I want to strangle him... Like when he came into the kitchen, asked for cheese, took a bite of it, and then spit it all over the floor, left the room, brought back in his juice, and dumped his juice all over the spit up cheese.

Yeah. Not so cute then.


Baby's doing good, I guess. I keep waiting to feel pregnant, and I don't really. I did for a week or two, but it went away and I'm back to feeling normal. Sometimes I have some back pain, but my swelling went away, and I'm good. I did get hit today with some crazy tiredness - and I officially entered my 3rd trimester today (28 weeks - some books tell you it's 27 weeks, others say 28. I went with 28 just to be sure, ha ha.)Oh, and I'm at that wonderful stage where I can't stop eating. I am hungry All. The. Time.

12 weeks left. How crazy is that? It seems like in pregnancy you are often waiting for 12 weeks - I know I was counting the days till I hit 12 weeks, since that's when your chances of miscarriage decrease dramatically. Then when you're 12 weeks, you count down till you're 24 weeks - because that's the age of viability if God forbid something should happen. Now I've got 12 weeks until the baby is due - and honestly probably less than that, since I don't know how long my doctor will let me go. Crazzzzzziness. I still don't have a baby name. Which is even crazier. This kid is going to come out and be baby no name, because I don't think anything is going to tickle my fancy.

I do hate that I'm now at the point where I go every 2 weeks for doctors appointments. With Cayden I NEVER hit this point - my doctor who I now know was a jackass never had me do it. I wanted it so bad, but now that I have a kid to bring with me, and keep entertained while there... Yeah, not a big fan. Plus Friday is my one hour gluclose test, so I have a feeling I'll be there for a loooong time. I think I may leave my brother in charge of Cayden, because it's going to take awhile.

I think that's it. I'm about to go dip the buckeyes I made :-) If you're asking what a buckeye is - it's our state nut, but they make candy buckeyes which is basically peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate and they look like buckeyes but taste MUCH better :-)

Moving sucks!

...I've never really moved as an adult. I mean, when I was 18 I moved with my Mom to an apartment, but I was only in charge of my stuff - which was limited to my room. Then I moved from that place to my own place - and again, pretty much only had to load up my room. I then moved from that apartment into a friend's apartment, then back to the original apartment, and in with my husband - but again... It was only one room I was in charge of.

Moving an entire town house? Sucks. It sucks even more when you have a two year old underfoot. We're still not 100% done - but pretty much everything that needs to be at my Mom's is here, with the exception of my son's toy box and some clothes -oh and the bassinet. We can't forget the bassinet because as it turns out, there is NO room in my son's room for his bed AND a crib, so baby will DEFINATELY be bunking with us, and hopefully by the time it outgrows the bassinet, we'll be in our own place. We go back Saturday and we have to send the rest of the crap to my in laws for storage and then clean. The house is a wreck. I've been stressing so much over this stupid move though that I have vowed not to think about it until we have to go back to said house and clean.

Unpacking is going... OK I guess. It could go faster but I'm at that point where I just... Don't care, lol. So I'm sending everything down to the basement just to be stored and letting our clothes sit in boxes in my room. I just wish everything would be done already, but I know I'm the one who has to make it get done, and quite frankly... I don't wanna!

...OK. I'm done I think. I'm going to bed. But YaY for being settled!

A Hippo named Puppy

I know I said I would be quiet this week. I should really be packing, but I stayed up till one AM packing last night, and I'm just done, lol. It feels like I've packed and packed and packed and yet more stuff keeps showing up, and I just want to be like... Where the hell did all this stuff comes from? We've thrown stuff away, sold stuff, packed it up, and yet I still have stuff coming out my ears. I was talking to my friend last night and I told her about how I feel like our stuff is multiplying because we've packed so much and stored so much and still have more.

Her answer? "You guys better get on it." Gee, thanks for the advice. I thought it would just pack itself?

Anyway, I'm tired of complaining (No, I'm actually not. I'm the world's best complainer and could do it all day every day. Seriously, I could always find something to complain about. I know, not a feature to brag about, but at least I'm being honest. But I figured it's more like you guys are tired of hearing me complain.) So I thought I would introduce you to Puppy.

Puppy is a stuffed hippo that quickly became my son's favorite stuffed animal. He carries it around the house with him, sleeps with it nightly, and likes to chew on it's dirty tail and ears (making them even dirtier and stiff from dried spit.) Puppy is something we're always on the search for - we currently have 3 puppies - one stays at my Mom's house, and two live at home with us. We have multiples because we've already had a few nights where one puppy went missing and we had to put in a back up puppy - and I know when he gets older, puppy may get left at home, or at a gas station... So it's important to have back ups. However, back ups are difficult to find - of course this particular stuffed animal is a TY animal - and TY likes to "retire" their animals (seriously, wth does a stuffed animal need to retire for? Like it's difficult being a childs play thing?) And puppy is retired. Meaning he's impossible to find - and when we do find him on ebay, we tend to have to pay kind of a lot for him - I mean not 100 dollars a lot, but I think 15 bucks for such a small stuffed animal is a lot. So we search thrift stores and yard sales and lots on craigslist and while we have yet to come across anymore, I do hope one day our fleet of puppies will expand.

Now, you may be asking yourself, why the hell is this hippo named puppy? Well, his given name (i.e the name on his tag) was Wade. We started calling him Schluffy - I'm not sure why I think when I worked with a Jewish family they would call naps schluffy's (though I may have just butchered what they actually called it.) So I started saying "go get your Schluffy and we'll go for a schnoo."

Well. While Cayden couldn't talk, we always called it his Schluffy, Schluff, or Wade. Now that he's talking, I don't think he can say Schluffy. So. It's puppy.

Why did I feel the need to introduce you to my son's stuffed animal you may ask? Well, because Puppy's been there for us through a lot. Puppy sleeps with my son and helps make him feel safe. Puppy comforted Cayden during his surgery. Puppy goes on adventures with us and never complains about stepped on, thrown, snuggled/strangled, chewed on, slobbered on... He's just there, unconditionally, and I thought he deserved a shout out.

Does your child have a puppy?

Ooooh life, sometimes you are such a bitch

I know, I know. More complaining. I'm sorry - but it's my blog and I'll cry if I want too.

I'm just to put a sarcastic spin on events, so at least I can laugh about them. And again, I'm also trying to keep my blessings in mind, because, well... As bad as it gets I know there's always a way for it to get worse. But I'm just REALLY hoping for a break here soon. Because I JUST dyed my hair for the wedding and already see a few grays popping back through - and I'm only 24 years old!

We cannot currently use our bank account because my husband is an idiot. I love him, I do, and he has SO many good qualities, but managing money is just not one of them. He ended up bouncing a check, which caused ME to bounce a check to my doctors office, who I have to go back too next week, which means I'll somehow need to come up with the money for the two visits and whatever they decide to charge me for bouncing that check. It makes me mad because he TOLD me to write the check, when I probably could have just had them bill me for it. It's also embarrassing. So now our bank account is in the hole, and my husband is kind of inferring that we're just not going to pay the bank - which is an idiotic thing to do, and I don't know why he would be like "oh, we're just not going to pay them!" Because we're going to NEED a bank account, and I just freaking put my name on that account. The whole thing is just a mess, and well... My husband is an idiot.

I then borrowed money from my sister, because I knew my boss was going to pay me, but then I ended up not seeing him, so I didn't get a check and I felt bad because I told my sister I'd pay her back Tuesday. I get the check today, and try to cash it at Wal-mart and they won't let me because while it's a payroll check, he hand wrote it and didn't type it. Luckily, I believe I can go to the bank it was written on and cash it, but it still irritates me, because I was hoping to get the money back to her tonight.

Then, I realized that my husband still hasn't called medicaid to check up on the application to see where we are in the process. My son has a well baby check at the end of the month and I've needed medicaid for, oh, about 7 months now because of the pregnancy. So I bug him to call - he had faxed the application a second time, and for the second time they STILL did not get it. GRRRRRRRR. Which means we have to pay for his well baby check out of pocket. I could find a clinic and all that, but honestly I love his pediatrician and he's had the same one since birth. And I know it sounds SUPER dumb, but it's just one thing I'm not willing to give up. As a child I was NEVER taken to regular appointments, and when I was taken I didn't have the same pedi... And I just want that for Cayden. I like having a doctor who I know, and who knows him.

So I call the office to find out how much it will cost to pay for it out of pocket. And the office refers me to billing, and billing refers me to the phone nurse, because it all depends on what vaccines he needs, and the phone nurses FINALLY call back, but of course since I'm at work, they can't get ahold of me, and my husband claims he never missed a call, but got a voicemail saying that Cayden needs no vaccines.

Which, just doesn't sound right to me. But since Jeremy didn't answer his phone and I wasn't able too, neither one of us could question this. And I was going to call back tomorrow to speak with them, only after I left the office, I realized I left my phone in the office. They lock the doors at 5:30 and it was now 6:00 so I couldn't go back in to get it and will be without a phone until I'm back at work.

Icing on the cake is my Mother in law. She keeps bugging me about Cayden's stupid birthday party - she has all these "requirements" but doesn't want to help pay or plan any of it. Then she keeps pestering me about what to buy him. I gave her a list, a very SPECIFIC, detailed list, because I know how she is. It was pretty long so they'd have variety, and detailed, AND I told her literally 5 or 6 times what NOT to buy him because we were getting it for him. I even showed her pictures.

First she keeps calling Jeremy about what to buy him. Then she buys him shit that isn't on the list and calling to see if it's OK - uh, if you really cared that much, you'd stick to the list lady. That's the stuff Cayden likes, that's why I put it on the freaking list. And I mean it's not like everything on the list is uber expensive - it honestly varies from things that are less than a dollar, to a wagon that's 100 dollars, with prices all in between, because I know how they are with money. Sometimes they're super weird and say everythings too expensive, and sometimes they act like they have all the money in the world (Case in point, last Christmas, when they told us they couldn't afford to buy Christmas presents, which was fine - but then went out and bought Cayden a 200 dollar train table?)

Anyway. What does my MIL do? She goes out and buys him the ONE fucking toy I told her NOT to buy. And it wasn't even in a nice "oh, I know how much you wanted it for Cayden and I know your money issues" type thing. I know her ass did it on purpose, and I hate her. I think she's a horrible human being and I made her take the damn thing back. I have been BUSTING my ass trying to save where I can and rack up the swag points to get Amazon cards JUST so I could buy this stupid 40 dollar toy for him. I mean again, I KNOW it sounds dumb, but it's the ONLY think we're getting him for his birthday, and right now I have 30 dollars in Amazon cards that I'm selling to my sister - so the toy at the most would be 10 bucks, and I may be able to get more cards before his birthday. It just makes me mad, it was the one thing I wanted to get him, and she stole it. And she did it for her own selfish reasons.

Then she tried to give Jeremy a guilt trip when he told her to take it back - "we had to drive all the way to the walmart on the south end of town because nobody else had it." Which is BULL - we were at my friends rehearsal dinner Saturday night that was around the corner from their house. We stopped at their walmart because I realized I had never gotten a wedding card for them - and we saw the toy there, in stock.

Then she came over tonight and we were all sitting out back and Cayden was playing with my neighbors boy. And NO JOKE every five freaking seconds she's going "Where is he? Is he alright over there? Jeremy he's over there, is that OK? Well... I dunno if that's OK. Cayden! Cayden!"

All the kid was doing was playing in the yard. He plays in that yard practically every night, and he's FINE. And she just would not SHUT UP. I just wanted to ask her how the hell he had managed to survive so long without her micromanaging? I mean the kid hasn't even had a serious cut yet. Obviously I'm doing something right without her being here and over my shoulder.

It's just been a very aggrivating couple of days, and I'm about ready for it to be over. Plus it doesn't help that Jeremy's hours at work keep getting cut. He seriously went into work this morning, clocked in at 6 and was told at 6:20 to go home because there was no work. He got paid for 20 minutes, and drove probably a half hour to get there.

Life is not grand right now. Not even a little bit.

Wedding!

We had the wedding yesterday, and it was decent. It was a lot of work though - totally worth it, my friend? Looked AMAZING and her new husband looked so happy, I was REALLY happy that I got to be a part of it. Still, we forgot/didn't have time to eat lunch, and so by the time the wedding was over, we were hungry and cranky and still had to pose for pictures, lol.

Still, once we got food in us, we were ready to party, and we did. I danced and danced and danced, and as a result ended up waking up a bajillion times last night with leg cramps. Totally worth it though. Here's the bride:










Anyway, just wanted to share. I'm super tired and we have a busy couple weeks coming, since we'll be moving next weekend so I may be quiet these next couple days :-)

The bad part about having children

Why is it that some people will never say anything bad about kids? I mean, I of course know people who hate children and will go on and on about sticky fingers, and screaming and such. But it seems like when I say my son is being a pain in the ass to someone - they always want to answer with "oh no he's not." - And usually, I will admit, it's the people who don't have children.

Um, yes he is. I love my son. He is an adorable little boy who makes me laugh. I would give up my life for him without hesitating for a moment. But he can still be a pain in the ass. Is he worth it? Sure. But is he still annoying at times? Yes. Yes he is.

He's been acting out a lot these last few days - and I really think it's just because there's been so many changes. Daddy's been home for the last few days (and then was suddenly MIA today when he had to go back to work.) I started working, so I'm gone - and while it's only for about 3 hours, he's still used to having me around ALL the time. His things are being packed up, his dog is gone. Plus I'm getting more and more pregnant and I'm sure he's picking up on that. It's not that he doesn't have an excuse to be a pain or act up... I fully understand it, and being not even two yet, he of course doesn't understand when we tell him what's going on, and he can't communicate how he's feeling. But again, just because he has a reason to act the way he's acting, doesn't mean he's not being annoying.

It probably doesn't help that both Mommy and Daddy are stressed either. I mean, I'm 26 weeks pregnant. I'm tired, I'm swollen, my back hurts. I picked up this new job, and while it's not hard, it is a lot of up and down and bend and stand... I try to clean/pack while I'm here during the day but if Cayden's awake he tends to just go behind me and un-clean or un=pack... And I feel like while I've been non-stop cleaning or packing... Things still aren't done. I mean a lot of it we can't do until we get the truck because it's bigger furniture. But I'm impatient. And I would like it done... Oh, yesterday.

I dunno what the whole point of this post was. Mindless babbling I guess. Anyway, I'm exhausted and am going to give up on the packing tonight and hit the hay early. If you're still up - keep voting for Cayden! The contest ends tonight at midnight and we should know tomorrow morning if he won or not. Every vote counts!