hes here!

9 lbs 6oz

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We're here!

....And we've already been bumped. Ha, I knew this was going to happen, and if I wasn't so hungry I would crack up. The doctor told me I could go home and nap so I wouldn't be so hungry... By the time I get home and fall asleep (if I can fall asleep - I couldn't last night.) I would have to be back up to come back.

We got bumped back because I guess they normally don't schedule sections for Tuesday mornings and have no idea how mine got scheduled. At first I thought she was going to tell me I had to come back tomorrow - and I would have freaked. But they bumped us back 2 hours. So, I'm hoping I don't get bumped again. Like I said, I'm hungry, and I'm really thirsty. So, I need drugs to make me forget about that, lol.

I wasn't going to update but I have nothing else to do. We don't want to go home (even though we live pretty close to the hospital) because I don't want Cayden to wake up while I'm there. As much as I'd love to see him, he'll freak when we leave and that'll be hard. So far we're hanging out in the waiting room... I tried to talk Mom and Jer into going to get breakfast (how nice am I? Not complaining about them eating when I can't. Awww, such a good wife/daughter.) But so far no dice. We also talked about shopping, lol. But, I have no idea what we'd buy so I guess it would just be aimless wandering.

Alright. Hopefully the next update will really be baby news :-) Off to find something to distract me from my hunger.

"Are you excited?"

I know I said I wasn't going to update, and here I have updated twice... I'm just so bored - everythings done, and the only thing left to do it wait. We took Cayden to COSI today just to let him run and play - kind of a last hoorah before things go crazy (though I'm also hoping to take him to the park tomorrow, if it's not too cold.) I was SO exhausted while I was there and after I got home (Jeremy, bless his heart did pretty much all the chasing. It's amazing how just walking while being this pregnant can wear you out!) I was actually waiting for it to be a "decent" time so I could go to bed.

Now it's almost 1 AM and I'm still awake. Why? I don't know. It's been like these this past week. End of pregnancy, or excitement?

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm excited... And I'm not really. It's hard to explain - I WANT to be excited, I know I SHOULD be excited, but I'm just having a hard time grasping that there WILL be another baby here in one more day. It's like, I get that I'm pregnant. But I just can't fathom that pregnancy = baby and baby time is almost here. I know it doesn't make sense. It's hard to explain. I mean when I think about a baby, I do get excited, but it's like I can't grasp that it's my baby, if that makes any sense? I just don't think it's going to hit me until he's here, when I see him I think I'm going to be like, OMG I'm a Mom again and get super excited. But right now I'm almost like, a baby? Psssht.

I dunno, like I said. It's so hard to explain, because when I think about dressing him in his tiny clothes I get excited, or holding his tiny body I get excited, or introducing him to Cayden I get excited, but I just can't believe it's over and he'll be here.

Plus I think it's hard for me to get excited because I also know with baby comes pain, lol. Maybe if there wasn't a surgery attached I'd feel better, but I'm nervous about the surgery so...

Now I'm babbling. I guess I just wanted to say, I can't believe it's over. Some parts of pregnancy seemed to drag, but for the most part it went by really quickly, and while I can't say I'm sad it's over (I don't love being pregnant, I love the end result, and I love moments of pregnancy, but patience isn't my strong suit, lol.) I just... Can't believe it's over.

Just wanted to add a few pictures of my first baby - because I'm also really nervous about leaving him. Plus, as dumb as it sounds I'm worried that since I was so blessed with such a gorgeous, healthy baby that this one is going to have issues. Stupid, eh?

Whenever I say no more updates...

I end up updating!

I talked earlier in the blog about why I love shutterfly. I found another deal where if I share a photo card project with you guys, I can get a 25 dollar gift card. Now, the gift card IS a nice incentive (especially with a new baby on the way and tons of pictures to print!) But I wouldn't recommend something that I didn't use and love myself. I love shutterfly, especially the photo cards.

Here's why: My husband and I often fight over whether or not a card is necessary. His point? They're expensive and they get thrown out. My point? Our friends often don't realize a gift is from us because they over look the gift tag stuck to it. Plus, a card is just a nice way to include a nice message. Our compromise? Shutterfly cards. It's almost like an extra gift WITH the gift, because it's personalized. It's the perfect way to keep grandparents up to date with the latest baby pictures, or to make a friend feel extra special.

Anyway, here's one I did for Jeremy for Father's day - needless to say, this was one card he did not throw out :-)

Happy Dad's Day Father's Day 5x7 folded card

Unique party invitations and greeting cards by Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0BYtmzly5cMnLg

This year I am thankful for...

It's been a rough year, and I know I whined a lot, and I am grateful for you guys and for you putting up for it. While it's hard for me to say I'm grateful for this year... I kinda am. I mean I wouldn't want to go through it again, and I'm hoping there's an end in sight... But, the thing about rough patches is that it makes you appreciate the little breaks you get. Do I wish we still had our own place? Sure do. But I am grateful that I have family willing and able to take me in - because lots of people don't. Do I wish we were still a two car family? Of course, it always makes things easier. But again, we have one car still, which still runs well *knock on wood*) and that's more than A LOT of people have. Did it suck to be without insurance? Sure. But THANK GOD we all remained healthy and didn't really need it - and that we still remain healthy.

It gets rough, sure. But my son is happy and healthy and even when he's frustrating he usually ends up making me laugh at some point. My husband is an amazing man - not perfect, but a far better spouse than I am. I'm about to have another baby, a healthy baby, and I know that's something a lot of women want so badly and never get a chance to experience.

Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride, huh?

My thanksgiving went OK. I didn't eat as much as I had planned in my mind - everyone said the turkey and the ham was amazing, but it just didn't taste right to me, so I chalked it up to one of those weird pregnancy things. However, I've so far had three mini chocolate pudding pies. I'm thinking about a fourth. I realize how much of a fat ass that makes me sound, but those things are just so very good! I did get to meet my cousins baby son, who I believe they said was 5 months old? He was adorable, and it made me so excited. Cayden was both adorable and... Jealous I think. So, while I'm excited to see Cayden with the new baby, I am feeling a little less secure in the whole "He'll be just fine" dealio.

Any Thanksgiving drama? Nope. Know why? My MIL was "sick" and didn't show. My FIL still came, which I thought was SO very nice of him. I'm half tempted to tell my MIL that since she was sick so close to the baby being born I don't really feel comfortable with her coming to visit the baby on Tuesday... But I let it go, and Jeremy gave George the warning that if she even FELT like she was coming down with something she needed to stay at home. I just don't get who she thinks she's hurting by pulling this shit. But it was a nice time :-)

I hope you all had a good thanksgiving! We've got nothing going on till baby time, just some last minute cleaning, so again, the next update you'll get from me is probably baby news :-) Still kinda hoping though that he decides to make the appearance sooner....

Funny story though, last night I sat on the couch and was like "what did I sit on that was wet?" I felt the couch and it was dry, so I was like Holy Shit, did my water break???

Nope. I had been sitting on the floor where I sat in some spilled soda and hadn't realized it. But it was kind of funny.

I could probably sleep this next week away...

...If I wasn't so damn hot.

Doctors appointment went well, I suppose, in the sense that I'm healthy and the baby is healthy. Not much else is going on. I'm a finger tip dilated and thick. So. Probably no baby until next Tuesday.

Which is good. My two major complaints for week 38 (which starts tomorrow) seem to be pure exhaustion and hot flashes. I went to bed at 8 again last night (thanks hubs for taking over toddler wrangling!) but woke up at 12:30 because I was just SO hot. It's disgusting but I was crazy sweaty - even with the window open and no pants on. I ended up getting up and sitting up until about 4 this morning just because I was so hot.

Still, the heartburn for the most part has simmered down, and I'm still not swollen, and while I'm sore, well, I'll deal with it. All in all I can't believe this is all going to be over in a week, how crazy is that?

I'm also super excited for Thanksgiving, where I plan to eat myself stupid. The one majorly awesome thing about this pregnancy? Now that I'm at the end I can't stop eating - and I'm not gaining any weight. I'm living up this last week, cuz one this baby comes it's back to the whole diet and exercise plan.

I think that's it. I'll try to update after Thanksgiving if any drama happens. If not, the next update you'll get is probably a baby update! :-)

I love shutterfly

Hey guys-

I know I said I probably wouldn't be updating until next week, but I have a chance to get 50 free holiday cards just by telling you why I love shutterfly. It's a win-win for me, really, because I do love shutterfly and I love telling people about products/services I use and love, and you know, 50 free cards will help save me some money!

I'm especially excited about making this years Holiday Card because we'll have a new addition to the family. I will most likely combine the holiday cards as Holiday greetings as well as announcing the birth of our new little one. I love shutterfly because I can do it quickly, online, and it's easy. Easy is fantastic when you have little ones.

Of course, Holiday cards aren't the only thing Shutterfly offers. I've used other products from them before, and really, nothing beats a personalized gift, especially for Grandma's and Grandpa's. I love their regular cards - I used these for some of Cayden's birthday invitations: http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/5x7-folded-greeting-cards/film-stars-blue-birthday-5x7-folded-card?sortType=1&storeNode=60393, and I can't begin to tell you how many birthday cards I've ordered from Shutterfly. I am a BIG fan of their birthday cards, because a.) they're so cheap! I'm sorry, but while shopping in store for a card for my son's birthday, the prices shocked me. 3 dollars for a card that was most likely just going to get pitched? Most of the one's I've seen from Shutterfly tend to run in the 2 dollar range - shipping is usually a dollar, which does bring it to three dollars, BUT since the cards have pictures on them, I've found that most people tend to hold on to these - my MIL still has her Grandparent's day card framed. Not to mention, they constantly run deals where you can get three folded cards for 99 cents! And, you have the option of having it sent directly to you, or you can have it sent directly to the person it's going too - which is just one less thing YOU have to do.

My other favorite product from Shutterfly are the calendars: http://www.shutterfly.com/calendars/wall-calendars. Yes, they're a little pricey, but again, if you watch Shutterfly they're often running deals and specials. Not to mention, you can personalize certain days with pictures and text. Meaning when I get a new calendar I don't have to sit down and write all the dates in - because Shutterfly has printed them on there. Birthday's, anniversaries... I have the worlds WORST memory, so this is nice.

So if you haven't checked out shutterfly and you're looking for an awesome Christmas gift for someone, do so!

I've been MIA

I wish I could say it was because I had my baby and am super busy, but nope. Stiiiiiillll pregnant. Again, I'll try to keep the complaints to a minimum, because it's really not THAT bad and I know it can be worse (I just had a friend who had to be hospitalized for five days because she had some severe pre-e stuff going on, so yeah, my little backaches don't compare.) and because I think it's a little redundant to say I'm done. Each week I've had a major complaint - 35 weeks I was really crampy, 36 weeks the heartburn struck, and now at 37 weeks I'm so very tired. I have days where I'm tired and can't sleep, and days where I'm tired and crash at 8 PM and don't wake till 9 AM the next day. So that's my main complaint, I am so very tired, and my morning sickness is back. But, hey, 2 more weeks and we're done, and I know next week with Thanksgiving it's going to go so quickly so. Wow, 2 weeks and we're done!

To update on everything that's been going on... Doctors appointment was stupid. LoL. I got tested for group b strep and on top of that they were like "surprise! we'll also be testing you for two STDs!" - I guess since I fall into a certain age range, it's standard. But I was just kind of irritated - I was tested for everything my last pregnancy, and came back clean so just because I fall into this age range they test me again. However, I told Jeremy if I pop positive this time, someone's got some explaining to do. However, with all that action going down there, they didn't check me for dilation, and honestly after all that poking and swabbing I didn't want anything else shoved in there. I'm supposed to be going to weeklys, but they were all booked this week, so I don't go back till Monday - and I'm actually hoping that's my last appointment and that they don't want me back before my c-section (which would be the following Tuesday.)

...Well, it would be really nice if I went into labor before that even, and the last appointment I went to would be my last. But. Whatever.

So moving on to MIL. Oh, my MIL. Really, really, REALLY dislike my MIL.

For starters, there's the Christmas incident, which almost made me shoot her. Jeremy and I decided that we were doing Christmas presents for the kids, and not anyone else. Jeremy's taking a month off work to help after my c-section and we just won't have the money. I thought about doing homemade gifts, but I'm just afraid I'll get one or two gifts done and then not have time to finish for anyone else. So, kids it is this year.

I told him to let his parents know, because if they don't want to buy us a gift in return, they don't have too. (Which, while I understand that Christmas isn't about the gifts, I thought was rather nice of me, considering last year Mary Anne told us they couldn't do gifts for us, and then proceeded to tell us what we could buy them.)

Anyway, she seemed to understand... Or so I thought. He gets off the phone with her, and she calls back literally two minutes later. Why? "OH, I just thought of a cheap gift idea you guys could get us!"

I mean we didn't say "We're keeping it a low budget Christmas this year, so don't expect much from us." Jeremy said "We don't have the money to get anyone Christmas gifts. We have Cayden's presents bought already and aren't getting gifts for anyone else."

Jeremy didn't think it was rude at all, but I was VERY offended, and even a little bit hurt. And I was even more offended that Jeremy backed off and was like "Oh, OK!" Instead of being like "No, we aren't doing gifts for anyone."

Then she called us a few days later and asked us what to bring to Thanksgiving.

.....What?

We did invite them to Thanksgiving. But she said she'd have to get back to us because their car was in bad shape (which is the same excuse they've used Thanksgivings past and never fixed the car, and it hasn't stopped them from driving to her brother's house for Christmas which is even further, but whatever.) And then my FIL called and gave us a definite no because they didn't have the money (which makes no sense, the only money they needed was gas money, which I do get gas is expensive, but I know they're just going to go out to dinner and spend more than that while eating out. But again, whatever.) So we called my Uncle and told him that they said no. And now, a little over a week before Thanksgiving, you're just randomly going to be like, what can we bring? When, exactly were you going to tell me you were coming? How about asking if it's still OK?

So now they're coming supposidly. I guess we'll see - My husband's Aunt ended up texting us the next day to invite us to THEIR thanksgiving, which I actually LOVE his Aunt and would like to go, but I'm not bailing on my Uncle after we said we'd come. However, MIL mentioned it to us, so I wouldn't be surprised if she bails last minute to go to her brothers house.

So then finally the dinner... It was actually low key. I think my MIL knows when I've just about reached my breaking point and then kind of backs off. However, we did have a few moments of "man, how come nobody's shot you yet?" but again, nothing major.

I mean the first annoyance is that they still take FOREVER to eat, but she picked a place that she actually did not once complain about the food, which shocked the hell out of me. Still, we were there for over 2 hours, which just... It irritates me to sit there that long. Then my MIL ordered dessert - which is fine, but I got SO annoyed because the waiter asked my FIL if he wanted anything, and he said no. And freaking waited until they brought MIL's dessert before he ordered his. UGH.

Then some topics of conversation got annoying:

-I don't know if you guys heard the VERY sad story of the 2 year old who got out of the house while his Mom was sleeping and ended up drowning in the pool. MIL heard about this and chose to lecture me on childproofing. Which always just annoys the crap out of me because she's around us so little, I just don't feel like she of all people has the right to question my parenting skills - because she has no clue what they are. I mean to me, it's kinda like - how the hell did my kid make it to two lady? She talks to me like I'm an idiot.

-I got lectured because I set my purse on the floor. I know a lot of people say not to leave your purse on the floor because of bugs and stuff, but honestly I don't care. Maybe it'll take bringing home a large ugly bug friend to freak me out to learn, but I'm like whatever. However, she told me I shouldn't do it because there's a bed bug infestation and I could carry them home with me.

....If the restaurant is infested with bed bugs, then they're going to come home whether my purse is on the floor or on a chair. If anything, they're more likely to be inside the upholstered booth she was sitting in. She also told me that we couldn't go to the movies like we had planned because they were infested with bed bugs. Now, I know there IS a bad outbreak, but I'm not locking myself in the house to avoid them. If the infestation is that bad, I'm going to get them at some point or the other.

Then I think she got irritated because she asked what we planned on doing about Christmas at Jeremy's Uncle's house. They do this every year, and we do try to go every year because as I said, I really love his Aunt and Uncle and we don't see them often. This year I'm just not sure how that's going to work out. Sometimes they do it pretty early in December, in which case I will most likely not be going. Even if it's later in December, I don't want to commit to going and then have complications from surgery or whatever. She said she totally understood that... Until I said that Jeremy and Cayden were welcome to go without us (meaning me and the baby.)

I think she was kind of shocked that I wouldn't let Jeremy bring the baby. Which, I didn't think was that unreasonable. For one, I don't think Jeremy could handle Cayden AND a newborn (for the record, I'm VERY glad to have my husband home for the first month, because I have no idea how I'M going to handle Cayden and a newborn). And it would be one thing if it were my Mom who I know would help out, but MIL and FIL can't even pick Cayden up - how are they going to help wrangle him? And I'm sure Aunt and Uncle would help, only Cayden doesn't know them so I doubt he would go to them (Uncle tried to hold Cayden at his second birthday party, and Cayden cried.) Not to mention, I plan on breastfeeding, so how is THAT going to work?

I dunno, it was just a very annoying experience. She just talks and it makes me want to punch her.

But, that was a lot of complaining for someone who said they weren't going to complain. Sorry about that :-) I know some of you like my MIL stories, which is why I tell 'em. :-)

So now I'm going to get a snack and go to bed. I don't know if there will be anything worth updating until either my doctors appointment Monday ooooor after Thanksgiving.

I think I made a mistake...

My doctors appointment is tomorrow, so I was going to wait and update until then, in case something exciting happens (I have dreams of going in and them telling me that I'm dilated to like, a four, ha ha. Wishful thinking much?) But I really don't think we'll have any changes, and I did have a chance with the MIL, so, I decided to post about that instead.

My plan with my in laws was to not tell them in advance about when the c-section date is scheduled. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that was a revenge tactic that I was trying to pass off as a "I don't want any stress" thing. I don't want any stress - that's my main goal with this baby, to not repeat the very stressful birth experience that I had with Cayden.

Jeremy brought up a good point too - he says like it sounds like I want to be in control of the situation, and that's fine and he understands that, but that he thinks I'll have more control if I tell them in advance and then tell them in advance what time I want them there and all that jazz. He's afraid if we wait and tell them last minute, they'll be able to pull the "Oh, well George has to work" card or whatever, which could very well be true, and he said he would feel guilty telling them they couldn't see the baby then. But, if we told them now, they have plenty of time to plan, and therefore if they still find some excuse, he has no problem telling them to get bent.

I wasn't happy about it, but it did make sense. I know they have to visit some time, so at the very least I need to do all I can to make sure it's on my terms, right?

So Jer called them last night to tell them. And the whole thing has just left me feeling really uneasy, and I wish I could take it back and not tell them again. She only said a few things that were borderline annoying, but I just have a really bad feeling about the whole deal - especially since Jeremy wasn't super firm about the rules we had agreed to put into place.

We told them that we wanted people to call before they came. We said we wanted to kind of "schedule" visitors so that everyone didn't show at once. Mary Anne was like "Oh Goody, because I want that baby all to myself." Which, I guess is a normal thing to say, but it makes me feel really territorial (and for the record, I feel this way when other people say it too, it's not just a MIL thing) Then she asked if anyone else would be there when they visited, and Jeremy mentioned that my Mom may or may not be there. To which Mary Anne replied "Well of course she will be, she's Grandma, Grandma's can do what they want."

I don't know if this was meant as a dig because my Mom is around a lot, or if she was trying to infer that she thinks even though Jeremy mentioned these "rules" that because she's Grandma she doesn't have to follow them.

If it was a dig, it's bullshit, and she's yet to come out and say anything directly against my Mom, but if she does, I'm not holding back. My Mom is around a lot, but it's because my Mom makes the time to do so, and is a help when she is around. When Jeremy had his knee surgery and I was 9 months pregnant, Mary Anne and George stopped by ONCE. My Mom? Came over every day after work. She checked on Jeremy, brought us dinner, and left. When the baby was born, my Mom came over every day - but not just to sit on her ass and hold the baby. She cooked, she cleaned, she let me sleep. And I get that Mary Anne and George are older and bigger with more health issues, so I don't even expect them to do as much. But the fact that Mary Anne doesn't have a job and she can't even bother to pick up the phone and say "hey, how's my Grandson?" speaks volumes. So no, I don't feel guilty that it's my Mom that's around more. If they wanted to be, they could be.

If it was her way of saying she was going to ignore my rules... Well, she's in for a shock, because I will kick her out of the hospital. I'm hoping it's just my pregnancy hormones and she didn't mean anything by it, but I just have a bad feeling about this whole thing.

I just wish Jeremy would have been more firm about things. I think I would feel better knowing they knew what we wanted. I was going to skip Mary Anne's birthday dinner, but now I think I'll go so *I* can be the one who says "Look, these are the rules, you follow them or you get out."

...We're almost there... Right?

I wanted to update you guys but then realized there's nothing to update you on.

Let's get the pregnancy complaints out of the way: Heartburn sucks. Every evening without fail, and nothing makes it go away. It's still pretty mild, just mainly really annoying, because it just doesn't quit. Still not swelling really, so Praise Jesus for that. I am incredibly achy all over all the time. Lately it's been going into my legs even - I've been waking up at night with leg cramps, and earlier it felt like I was getting shin splints. I'm not so sure the shin splint feeling is pregnancy related, but it's not like I've been out running marathons, so I dunno what else would have caused it. Those are my specific complaints. The rest are the general - I'm tired all the time but can't get comfortable enough to sleep, my back hurts all the time, my hot flashes are out of control...

I told my husband to remind me of this moment when I want to have another baby, ha ha.

Still, it did hit me earlier today how lucky I am. I complained about how disappointing it was for a couple months to not get pregnant, but then on baby center I stumbled across the trying to conceive board... And I mean woman try for years and nothing - or even worse than that, get pregnant but then lose baby after baby. The end of pregnancy sucks - don't get me wrong. I have found people who say they like pregnancy, but I think even they agree at the end, there's just nothing much fun left except the birth part.

I just know how badly I wanted this baby, and I only had to try for a few months, and I already had a baby. I can't imagine how badly it must hurt to find out you can't even have one.

Especially when I hang out with Cayden. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I want to strangle him (and anyone who thinks that's a horrible statement to make has never been around a 2 year old!) But he is one hilarious little boy - and QUITE the smartass.

A few days ago I said to him "Pete and repeat went of a boat, Pete fell off, who was left?" I didn't expect an answer, I was just playing with him. Do you know what he answered?

"Boat."

....Yeah, I guess you're right Cayden, the boat was left.

There are other examples of smart ass-y things he's said, I just can't remember them right now. But just him talking is hilarious - most of the time. There was a moment in the store the other day where he just kept repeating "Mommy, mommy.... Hi Mommy. See it Mommy? You see it?" And that got a little old. But most of the time...

I just also can't believe how freaking big he's gotten, it's nuts. I also can't wait for him to meet his new baby brother!

You don't wanna meet Mr. Angry Eyes

Forewarning before you read this: I'm in a really horrible mood. I'm talking I would yell at cute puppies type of mood. So, this is pretty much going to be me ranting. I realize I have so much to be happy for, but I do think sometimes you just gotta be pissed off. And I'm pissed.

I'm not sleeping well, so that probably has something to do with my mood. I was up super late last night, then tossed and turned and woke up what felt like every ten minutes, and then of course my son was up super early this morning. Whatever, such is life, right? But then before I signed off facebook last night, I put my status as something like "finally going to bed, here's hoping Cayden sleeps in."

And my friend posted a comment back "We need to get you on a sleep schedule. You were up way too late missy."

I know, sounds super innocent, right? But it just irked me, because she's so freaking opinionated, which I am too, but it's on crap she knows nothing about. Until you have been 9 months pregnant and tried to find a comfortable position to sleep in, please don't tell me I need to be sleeping more, not to mention the husband that gets up at 4 am to go to work, and as quiet as he tries to be, always wakes me up (it's not his fault, honestly. I'm just not sleeping as deeply as I used too) or the two year old who still wakes multiple times in the night...

She also made a comment the other day on my status about how she stayed up too late and had to get up to go to work in the morning and how she couldn't wait till she was rich or a mom so she could stay at home...

Uh, really? You DO realize that just because I'm a stay at home Mom, I'm still working, right? I'm not able to sleep in till whenever, and if I don't feel good, I still can't call off. I mean it's just offensive. She actually said when she had kids she was going to craft all day.

Yeah, honey, maybe when your kids are back in school.

And then when she heard about my c-section she asked me if I was excited, and when I answered nervous, she seriously asked me why. Uh, it's major surgery and when it's over, I'll have to recover AND deal with a newborn and toddler. Her reply? "Women do it all the time."

K. Doesn't mean it's easy. Doesn't mean it's fun. Doesn't mean it's what I wanted. And sometimes those women DO have complications, you know why? Because it's major surgery! People undergo open heart surgery all the time, should they not be nervous?

I love her to death, but she just says things and I don't think she thinks about them before she says them. I've talked to her about it before... When we were super stressed about our money issues, because all her answers would basically be to suck it up and deal with it. I finally asked her how SHE would feel if when she starting complaining about the stress of her wedding if I responded with "Hey, you should just be glad you're getting married." Sometimes all people want is sympathy. And it's like, I hate telling her anything that's going on.

Anyway. Then there's my WONDERFUL MIL, who we all know and love so much. She called the other night. We haven't seen her since Cayden's birthday party, and the last time we talked to her was when Jeremy called her to see if she wanted a ride to the shower - so it's been awhile, but whatever, I don't want to talk to her, so I don't care.

She called to tell us she started buying things for Christmas for Cayden. And she fucking DID IT AGAIN!!!! We called her probably over a month ago to let her know that we bought Cayden this chuck and friends stunt park playset. They have multiple ones, so we were sure to let her know the specific name of the one we bought, and described the box (there are a couple different sets, the other sets are smaller, this one is the big one. You really can't confuse it with the others) We told her we bought it, and she said OK, well I'll get him the other little ones.

She bought him the big set. And you know what, again, *I* don't care. She keeps his toys at her house, so it's not really a big deal that he has a double. Only once again, *she* gets her panties in a twist. "You didn't tell me you were buying that for him."

Jeremy was like "We called you as we were buying it to make sure you hadn't already gotten it. Remember, I told you it was on sale, and we also had a coupon so we got it for like half price?"

Whatever, I'm just done telling her what we've gotten him, because it obviously doesn't matter.

Then she asks us what we need for the baby still. Uh, really lady? You want to ask NOW? I'm 35 weeks pregnant! At the most I have 5 weeks left! You didn't offer to buy ANYTHING when you knew my husband didn't have a job and we were struggling, but NOW that we have extra money you want to offer?

The ONLY thing I could think of are socks. She, of course, complained about it. "Socks are so boring. Are you sure that's all you need? Can I buy some clothes?" ...You CAN do whatever you want. But if you're asking what I still NEED, yup, socks are pretty much it.

So then she finally starts giving Jeremy the 5th degree about Cayden's 2 year check up - which, had I been on the phone, I wouldn't have told her jack about it, because frankly, it's none of her business. She starts questioning WHY he didn't get any vaccines and when Jeremy said the doctor said he didn't need any, she seriously asked if the doctor was sure, and if we trusted the doctor.

Uh, no. Don't trust the doctor at all. That's why I continue to take my son to her, because I think she's a nut job. And in fact, I definately think you know more than her, I mean so what? You never went to school to get that pesky medical degree, and you only had one child, and that was over 30! years ago. Times haven't changed at ALL since my husband was a kid, right? And I mean, you can't seem to remember what I told you specifically NOT to buy my son, or stick to a freaking list that YOU asked me to write, but I'm SURE you can remember what vaccines he needed, better than his doctor, who has it written down and on file. Never mind that you've NEVER been to a SINGLE doctors appointment with him, and I think this is probably the first or second time you've even bothered to ask how it went.

>:( <--- That's Mr. Angry Eyes, btw. Cayden has recently become obsessed with the Toy Stories, you might recognize the line from Potato Head.

So then she asks about the flu shot. To which Jeremy answers that Cayden didn't get one. And of course, that set her off hardcore.

Now, personally I'm on the fence about the flu shot. My husband? Thinks the flu shot is the dumbest invention ever. He never gets one. Do I think it's the right thing to do? I don't know. I did insist Cayden get one last year, and with the new baby coming, he will probably get one again this year. But, he didn't get one while we were in because they didn't have any. It wasn't like we refused, but they happened to be out. But again, it's Jeremy and my child, and therefore it's our choice, and if I don't want to vax him at all, for anything, well, that's between Jeremy and I.

...Then, she asked if I got the flu shot. To which I would have answered it's none of her business. But my husband is dense, and so he told her I actually refused mine.

Yeaaaaah that went over well. I refused mine because they only had the flu shot/h1n1 combo, and I refuse to get the h1n1 shot while pregnant. If they have some shots still available when the baby is born, I will get one, again, to protect the baby. But right now I feel like it's safer to not get one. (And for the record, I am NOT trying to start the great flu shot debate. My MIL got the flu shot, and that's great... For HER. It's YOUR body, and I just think it's therefore YOUR decision what you do with it, and what you put in it.)

So then she starts talking about her birthday, and where she wants to go out to dinner at. She has it narrowed down to three places, and one of them just happens to be an uber expensive steak house. And while I would LOVE to go to this steak house (Jeremy got to go once because at his old job they had a pharm company come in and take them there. It's expensive, but he brought me home some of his steak. I ate it the next morning, cold, and it was still the best steak I've ever eaten, so I could only imagine what it would taste like "fresh".) I would never go with her.

For one, I don't know why the women EVER orders steak out. She freaks out EVERY time, because if it's the slightest bit pink it's "bloody" and if it's not pink then it tastes burnt and is way too overdone. Secondly, she's been to this steak house before, and she hated it. Why she wants to go back is beyond me. Thirdly, we have a new baby on the way, and Christmas coming... I just have other things I'd rather spend my money on, especially if I'm going to have to sit there and listen to her complain about the food which I'm sure will be delicious. And lastly, it's not really the type of place that has booster seats and highchairs. She's going to want us to bring Cayden, and then she's going to send back her food 20 times and take 4 hours to eat, meanwhile he'll be melting down in the middle of a restaurant that's not really child friendly to begin with.

I guess it doesn't matter, because I told Jeremy I felt like I was coming down with something, and it would probably hit right around her birthday time, and so I didn't think I would be going.

I do feel better, though, now that I've complained. Thanks :-)

I've been diagnosed with end of pregnancy sucks syndrome

I cramped really badly at the start of this pregnancy, and now they cramping has returned. My doctor tells me they're braxton hicks contractions (practice contractions for those of you who haven't had kids) but they don't feel at all like I thought contractions would feel like. They feel like I'm about to get my period. They hurt and they're uncomfortable, and I never had these with my son.

Well usually they go away after an hour or two, especially if I eat, lay down, move around, or drink water (which signals that they aren't real contractions.) Yesterday I woke up with them, and all day long I had them. I tried everything the doctor had suggested, annnnnd nada, they wouldn't quit. I did not think I was in labor - it hurt but it was more of an uncomfortable pain. It sucked and made me really whiny, but it was more of a "I just want to lay in bed with a hot water bottle" pain. I called my doctor because she told me if I had more than 6 braxton hicks in an hour to call (and I dunno if I had more than 6, because it's not like they stop and start. I cramp for an hour and it stops.) but these had been all day and I thought she should know.

Of course, they want me to come into labor and delivery. They always want you to come in (actually, with Cayden, the one time they DIDN'T ask me to come in was when I should have been seen.) I didn't want to go but was afraid if I didn't go I'd be up all night wondering if the baby was OK. Again, I didn't think I was in labor, but wasn't sure why I was cramping so much. So, in I went.

Turns out, I am having contractions - they were being picked up on the monitor and everything, but they weren't dilating me, so they let me go home. Finally, last night right before I fell asleep, they went away. And I woke up without them, but now they're back. The doctor seems to think I might be in the beginning stages of labor - which sounds SUPER exciting, until she admitted that this could go on for weeks. I mean my friend Amy started having contractions early, and she still had to be induced. It's one thing if I could go through this and it was bringing me closer to my VBAC, but I may just be crampy and have to get cut open anyway.

So when my Mom asked me what they told me at the hospital, I told her "they diagnosed me with end of pregnancy sucks syndrome."

I thought it was pretty funny, and very true :-)

My soup tastes funny

...Like bad peanuts. You know that taste? The weird tasting peanut in the shell? Almost like burnt peanut. I'm really upset about this - we need to go grocery shopping so we don't have much in the house to eat, and soup was one of my few lunch choices. I tried to suck it up and eat it but seriously almost threw up. I have more cans of soup but now I'm kind of afraid of soup.

I'm at the point in pregnancy where I'm hungry all the time, but don't ask me what I want to eat because nothing sounds good. I'm also not sleeping and I really do believe I'll sleep a lot better once this baby is out.

Basically, today I am full of nothing but complaints, and burnt peanut tastes, lol.

There's not much to update you on. We went out and finished buying up the majority of the baby supplies this weekend. I just need to get some baby socks and a couple pairs of newborn pants - I never have enough pants for my kids. My husband says it's because pants aren't as cute as shirts and stuff, and he's probably right. It's weird being done - I feel like there's no way I can be done, especially with so much stuff I thought I had to do, but I keep wracking my brain for things we don't have, and I can't think of anything. I haven't bought any formula, but I am hoping to breastfeed, and I know if it doesn't work out, I'll get samples in the hospital that will tide us over until someone can run out and get it.

On the one hand, being done has made me more impatient for him to get here. But, on the other hand... I'm still freaking out. One, because I really don't want surgery. I don't want to deal with the recovery and two babies and leaving my son at home while I'm in the hospital. I will deal with it, I knew there was a chance of that happening when I decided for a second baby, but it still doesn't mean I'm in love with the idea.

Then, I'm terrified of juggling two kids, lol. With this baby inside of me right now, he's easy to take care of. I want all the fun stuff - being able to hold him and cuddle him and seeing him with Cayden, but I'm so nervous about the rest of it.

We had a very busy October, so now I'm wondering if November is going to drag on because we don't have a lot planned. My last day of work is the day before Thanksgiving, and besides my cousin's wedding, that's really the only thing I have on our schedule. I just want to spend time with Cayden and getting things ready and all that.

Halloween was OK. We had plans to take Cayden trick or treating twice, but we only went once. He didn't need all that candy anyway, but I did feel bad about not taking him because we were supposed to go with Tyler, his bff. He ended up desperately needing a nap though, so it just didn't work.

Trick or treating around our house went well. We only went out for about a half hour, because again, Cayden doesn't need a bunch of candy. It was also chilly, and it was pretty funny - Cayden took off like a rocket and basically ran the whole two blocks, and then pooped out and started asking to go home.

I'll edit this later and post pictures. Right now I unfortunatly have laundry to do. Yuck.