"Are you excited?"

I know I said I wasn't going to update, and here I have updated twice... I'm just so bored - everythings done, and the only thing left to do it wait. We took Cayden to COSI today just to let him run and play - kind of a last hoorah before things go crazy (though I'm also hoping to take him to the park tomorrow, if it's not too cold.) I was SO exhausted while I was there and after I got home (Jeremy, bless his heart did pretty much all the chasing. It's amazing how just walking while being this pregnant can wear you out!) I was actually waiting for it to be a "decent" time so I could go to bed.

Now it's almost 1 AM and I'm still awake. Why? I don't know. It's been like these this past week. End of pregnancy, or excitement?

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm excited... And I'm not really. It's hard to explain - I WANT to be excited, I know I SHOULD be excited, but I'm just having a hard time grasping that there WILL be another baby here in one more day. It's like, I get that I'm pregnant. But I just can't fathom that pregnancy = baby and baby time is almost here. I know it doesn't make sense. It's hard to explain. I mean when I think about a baby, I do get excited, but it's like I can't grasp that it's my baby, if that makes any sense? I just don't think it's going to hit me until he's here, when I see him I think I'm going to be like, OMG I'm a Mom again and get super excited. But right now I'm almost like, a baby? Psssht.

I dunno, like I said. It's so hard to explain, because when I think about dressing him in his tiny clothes I get excited, or holding his tiny body I get excited, or introducing him to Cayden I get excited, but I just can't believe it's over and he'll be here.

Plus I think it's hard for me to get excited because I also know with baby comes pain, lol. Maybe if there wasn't a surgery attached I'd feel better, but I'm nervous about the surgery so...

Now I'm babbling. I guess I just wanted to say, I can't believe it's over. Some parts of pregnancy seemed to drag, but for the most part it went by really quickly, and while I can't say I'm sad it's over (I don't love being pregnant, I love the end result, and I love moments of pregnancy, but patience isn't my strong suit, lol.) I just... Can't believe it's over.

Just wanted to add a few pictures of my first baby - because I'm also really nervous about leaving him. Plus, as dumb as it sounds I'm worried that since I was so blessed with such a gorgeous, healthy baby that this one is going to have issues. Stupid, eh?