It's been a hectic week.
Late Wednesday night/early Thursday morning something started feeling a little off about the baby. I was a little crampy, had what I thought might be a few contractions, and some pressure. I thought about calling the doctor, but nothing felt bad, just... Different. The contractions didn't keep up and in fact stopped when I switched positions so I knew they weren't "real". I had an appointment the next day and decided just to talk to my doctor about it then.
Well, my husband was going to take a half day off (since we're down to one car, he kind of had too.) but then it turned into a full day because... Well, he had to work Saturday so it'd be made up for then, and just because. And it's a good thing he ended up going with me to my appointment, because they kept me waiting for an hour and a freaking half.
I was livid. Cayden was bored out of his skull, and tired, because he fell asleep in the car for 10 minutes and then refused to take the rest of his nap. It was just ridiculous.
Then they decided because of the things that had happened the previous day, they wanted me to go for a non-stress test right THEN. Uh, do you not see my child laying on the floor throwing a fit? I mean honestly if I thought something was wrong, I would have gone. But at that point, I was pretty sure that the baby had either moved positions or dropped - which was kind of confirmed when she found his heart beat in a totally different spot than she normally does.
Anyway, I went out to schedule my next appointment and they couldn't get me in for a NST then, so I'm supposed to go back Monday. I'm going to call and cancel because I'm sick (which I really am) and then just not re-schedule. Again, if I thought something was wrong, I would go. But I feel continuous movement, which is what they're going to measure me for, and I have an ultrasound next week anyway. So. No thanks.
Anyway, on top of all this, I start to feel a little under the weather. My nose is a little runny, my throat's a little gummy - a cold. Not GREAT, but I can handle a little cold, right?
Friday night I'm so exhausted and feeling so crappy I crash at 8 PM, and only because I forced myself to stay up that late. Wake up Saturday morning feeling like death warmed over. Can't stop coughing, throat is KILLING me, it's horrible.
I still have it, but it's not nearly as bad, and while I would like to spend the day in bed, I can function with it, which is good, because spending the day in bed is not an option when you have a two year old. Especially a two year old with a birthday party.
His birthday party was really fun, and EVERYONE showed up - which I was NOT expecting. I told my friend (who's house we held it at) that I honestly was only expecting 20 people - I was like "Yeah I got a lot of RSVP's, but I always do, and only half of them show."
Well, everyone showed this time, lol. It was crazy, but fun, and I think Cayden had a good time.
My MIL, however, needs to go to Church and burst into flames. I'm so over her, and really I have a feeling that shit between us is soon going to come to a head, because I can't even stand to be in the same room as her without feeling angry.
I didn't hear any of this, but my friend Shayne (who's house I was throwing the party at) overheard - and Shayne is not one to make mountains out of molehills, so I know she isn't just trying to create drama.
I guess it started when Cayden was opening presents. My cousin ended up getting Cayden the same hoodie that they got Cayden. My cousin didn't know this, and we didn't tell her, because... Well, I dunno, I feel like it's a little rude to be like "oh, he has that." I mean, she did tell me where she got it from, so I just planned on taking it back - she didn't need to know.
I guess my MIL got an attitude like "We got him that" and was all huffy. Which, isn't a big deal, but it's still like... Really lady? It's not like she did it on purpose - she doesn't even know you. Then someone else got us this folding playset which they have at their house, and again, I guess she got really worked up, and even told my husband three times that they already had it. Which, we knew that they did. And we kept telling her - it doesn't matter, because they keep that toy at their house and we don't have one at ours. She got the same snippy attitude when she found out that I had bought him a construction playset that she had - but again, she doesn't let us take his toys home, so why does it matter?
The part that really pissed me off is I was telling someone about the toy we got Cayden for his birthday. I dunno if I told you guys, it's a Fisher Price Wheelies Rampway. I told my MIL about 7 billion times NOT to buy it - and even showed her pictures - because *WE* we were buying it for him.
Well. She went out and bought it. And I hit the roof I was so mad - but Jeremy made her return it (even though she tried to give us the "I drove all over town" guilt trip)
Anyway, Cayden's rampway was a toy that was involved in the 10 bajillion toys that Fisher Price just recalled. Super, right? I JUST gave it to him, and now I have to take away the cars and send them off for replacements and it's going to take 8-12 weeks AFTER they recieve the cars.
So I was telling someone about the recall at the party, and how if we had kept the box, I would have just returned the toy to the store and then bought a new one - because not ALL the sets were involved in the recall (but of course, we ended up with the set that was, lol.)
Anyway, I guess she was going off to my FIL about how it was my fault, and how she told me she bought that toy for him, and if I would have just let her keep it none of it wouldn't have happened, and blah, blah, blah.
THAT pissed me off. I know, I know, it's so dumb, but it's like... I TOLD you that's what I was getting him, I TOLD you not to buy it, it's not my fault you're an idiot and can't remember, and the stupid recall was not my fault, and the set she bought him might have been involved as well, so it might not even matter.
I dunno, reading what I typed now, I'm kind of like... What's the big deal. It's just that the woman BUGS me. She doesn't even have to say anything anymore, just being around her BOTHERS me. She's just so fake, and I can't STAND it and want to call her out EVERY time I see her.
Like my friend invited her to my baby shower, and she put on the whole "I'm an awesome Grandma who can't wait till this baby arrives" act. And THAT peeves me off, because it's like... If we don't call you and schedule plans? You NEVER see Cayden. You haven't offered to buy this new baby anything or help out in ANY way, except to buy a pack and play for YOUR house which the baby will never use...
She's just so selfish, and it gets to me so badly, because I just wasn't raised by selfish people, and I'm really not used to being around them.
She makes me want to scream.
She's in the wrong, without a doubt. But, I suspect you'll have an easier time dealing with her when you're not so full of pregnancy hormones anymore. In the meantime, you have a really good excuse if you need to explode--you can blame it on pregnancy :). Feel better!
ReplyDeleteLaura, i always read this page but do not comment often. I just wanted to say in all honesty, you are entitled to the way you feel! No one can tell you different, you cme across as self-consious like we are going to judge you but we are not in that situation.
ReplyDeleteIt may seem small when you go back & read it but it all adds up to more than what appears, do not let anyone else make you feel like the problem is inferior or you are over-reacting. I have major problems with my gram when it comes to my son so i know exactly how you feel!
Has your hubby tried looking for jobs out of state? I've found that living 1800 miles away from my in-laws for three years really made me hate them less. It all comes back if/when you move back though... but it was a good three years!
ReplyDeleteMy MIL is a major pain in the ass too. She's hated me pretty much since day one because I was 17 when DH and I started dating, and he was 19. For the first year of our relationship, I was referred to as "She's a minor, and she needs to go home now." And now, she has a second grandson from BIL (who is 24) and his 19 year old girlfriend who was a whole SEVENTEEN and STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL when he knocked her up. And MIL absolutely loves her! Yet, I'm the one she hates because I was too young when I started dating DH.
My favorite though, is that MIL was talking shit about me on my wedding day over three years ago now. And she's spent the last three years talking shit about me and my wedding to anyone who will listen... as in, BIL's baby mama who only entered the picture a year ago when the baby was born and they did the DNA test to prove he wasn't her at-the-time-boyfriend's kid. (Though, they never did a DNA test to prove he was BIL's kid... and I really don't think he is.)
Anyway, I completely feel your pain. I'd try limiting the amount of time you spend around the in-laws for your own sanity. DH and I avoid his parents as much as possible. It's not as easy now that we have a kid, but before we moved to Texas and we were kidless, we only saw them maybe twice a month... even though we lived 5 minutes away.
We've thought about moving - my husband REALLY wants to go back to AZ. But I love Ohio, my whole family who we actually like are here, my friends are here, my husband even though he lived in AZ for 2 or 3 years knows nobody there... And when he lived in AZ before, his parents talked about moving out there - they have no reason to stay here really. I mean my FIL is cut off from his family, and my MIL only really has her brother, who travels a lot and I'm sure would come visit her. If they did follow us I would end up killing her, I know I would.
ReplyDeleteI'm even more angry now because I had another friend come up to me and tell me that not only was my MIL rude to her, but she heard her complaining throughout the party about various things - and it just makes me wonder who else overheard her - because some of what my MIL complained about was about other people/their kids and I'm just like... What if they over heard her? And I'll mention too, we didn't have a single child act up - no kid even spilled anything, which I thought was a freaking miracle.
And I get it, some people are just judge-mental people. Sometimes I consider myself one of those people, but at least I know enough to keep my mouth shut about things until no one else is around to over hear me! If you're so miserable and having such a horrible time, don't come, because nobody wants you here. And that's what I want to tell her - if she's going to be the same rude person at my baby shower, she can just not attend. I don't want her there, I don't need her there, and she's not special so she doesn't have any "right" to be there. And if she keeps it up, she won't be around when this new baby is born either.
I mean honestly we DON'T see them very much - we have a lot this past week because of Cayden's birthday but most of the time they don't call to see him, and I stopped calling them. But as I said, I don't know if it's pregnancy or just I'm so fed up with her, because I SEE her and I get SO aggrivated.
Well, you've got a couple choices (as I see it).
ReplyDeleteOne: You can try to ignore it all for the sake of your kids having a relationship with their grandparents.
Two: You can confront her about it and let her know that she needs to shape up or GTFO of your life.
Three: You can just cut her off completely (if your DH agrees since they are his parents).
I'm currently on option one with my MIL. And so far it's going okay. She seems to have lessened her hate for me in the 3 years I was gone. So, we limit the amount of time Griffin spends at their house without us (because I don't agree with her methods of raising children and she refuses to accept my rules), and I try to stick to non-confrontational topics of conversation.
Though, if she goes back to her controlling, bitchy ways about me, DH, our son, or the way we raise our son, I have a feeling we'll be on to option two. And if that fails, I know DH wouldn't be heartbroken about cutting them out of our lives.
I feel like we've been on option one for awhile now, and it's not working. Mainly because I think she sees Cayden as more of a prop than a grandchild. I mean it's all about showing off his picture than actually spending time with him - buying all these expensive toys/baby equipment so it LOOKS like he's over there a lot, when he's not. And my friend said maybe she buys the stuff to keep at her house as a way to tempt us to come over more - but I don't think that's it, because of how long SHE goes without inviting us over or initiating contact. I used to try to call her to hang out, and she either never called me back, or would make plans and cancel.
ReplyDeleteI mean it's one thing if they were the type of grandparents who had the attitude of "I've raised my kids, I don't need to spend every waking second with my Grandkids" but she likes to act like she's number one Grandma but doesn't want to put in the time. And then can't understand why Cayden won't come to her when she calls him or give her hugs.
And I mean, his actual birthday was a prime example. Getting "sick" - Everyone can see right through that act, so eventually Cayden will too. I mean LIKE when she's not around, it's a break for me, but when he figures it out, it's got to sting a little, knowing his Grandma would rather play mind games and be an attention whore rather than see him.
I have no issue skipping right to number three - and if it weren't for my FIL I don't think my husband would have any qualms with it either. I think he has a problem with cutting his Dad off - and I used too as well, because I know if it weren't for her, he'd see Cayden ALL the time. But now I'm just like... Grow a pair dude, stand up to your wife. My MIL seriously won't let my FIL and husband go out to a freaking MOVIE together without giving my FIL a list of chores first like his cinder-fucking-rella. And if he doesn't get done? He doesn't get to go.
I mean yeah, it does suck to be "left out" sometimes, but I understand a father and son need alone time, and like to do things that I have no interest in doing. I would NEVER stand in the way of Jeremy and Cayden hanging out, and I don't see how ANY mother could, unless of course the dad was a deadbeat or something.