Thursday, October 14, 2010

Should be sleeping stead of keeping these late hours I've been keeping

I wasn't going to post until tomorrow, because until tomorrow I really have nothing of importance to say. Well, actually, technically it's not tomorrow anymore - technically since it's past midnight I wasn't going to post until later today. But here I am, because once again, I can't sleep, and what else is there to do? I've been watching re-runs of the nanny, playing solitaire on my phone while laying next to my sleeping husband, but then got heartburn and decided to sit up for a little while.

So here I am.

This week hasn't been a great week. It hasn't really been bad either, just... So-so. Normal, I guess. Work has been busy and I'm swamped and really am starting to think they're expecting too much of me. I could do all the work they want me to do, but I need to be there more in order to get in done in the time frame they want. Filing, which was supposed to be my main job, has taken a backseat because other things keep getting thrown at me. Don't get me wrong, it's not difficult, and I still love it there, but it does get a little frustrating because I feel like I'm falling behind and letting people down, as well as working my tail off to get little to no progress done - I just need more time there. My friend who brought me in is about to switch over there full time, and she's expressed wanting to bring me on full time. I waiver back and forth about that. I miss Cayden when I'm gone, and I'm only there for 2.5 hours a day. Still, I appreciate him more, I feel like I'm more patient with him, and I WANT to spend more time with him. Plus, Jeremy's still only working temp work, and they told him not to come in three days this week. We're lucky since we're living with my Mom right now and that means essentially no bills, but we're trying to save for when the baby comes so he can take some time off - which we'll NEED if I have my c-section. So having something steady would be really nice.

I don't know, we'll what happens.

A couple weeks ago Cayden slammed his finger in the door and today lost a nail because of it. It's honestly his first "major" injury and honestly it disgusts me. Now that the nail is totally off, it's not so bad, but earlier it was hanging on, and he was trying to feed me something, and I just imagined accidentally biting the nail and thought I was going to throw up. I feel bad for him too because I know it hurts, and there's not a whole lot I can do. Now that the nail is off it actually doesn't seem to be bugging him as much. Hopefully it grows back quickly.

Other than that, I'm just ready for it to be next week. This weekend is our only free weekend in October - we were going to go to the Pumpkin Patch but we did that last week, so we have nothing this weekend, although I'm sure we'll do something. It's just nice to not have plans. Tomorrow is my ultrasound, which I'm happy for, but also nervous about... I don't want my doctor to refuse my VBAC without even giving me a chance to VBAC. But I am curious to see baby's position and growth and see him again, so that's exciting. After I have a doctors appointment which I am NOT looking forward too. They just always take FOREVER. It's crazy to think though that I have 2 more bi-weeklys left and then we're on to weeklys. That's really going to blow.

Next week however, Cayden has his doctors appointment and then we go to the pumpkin show, and then that weekend we have a birthday party and my baby shower. I'm really excited about my shower, though I know it's going to be really small, I'm OK with that. I just really want to celebrate the baby. Plus, I've been nesting like crazy and really wanting to go out and buy things for the baby - and we don't really have a ton left to buy. So, I keep telling myself to wait until after the shower to see what we may get and then shop.

Alright. For someone who had nothing to say, I sure did say a lot. I'm off to try to go to sleep again. Well, I'll probably pee first.

Oh, PS: I posted this on the other blog, which I assume you all read, but if you don't, our computer has been screwy lately. My husband has worked a bunch on it: Installed things, uninstalled things, run a bunch of virus scans, ect. but nothing is working. He thinks the computer just may be old and done. So if I go MIA, that's probably the reason. I will try to get on through my phone and update if that happens though!

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