Introducing Elijah

So, I finally got the pictures back, and here they are. I do apologize for them being a little... Grainy/pixel-y. They were OK when I scanned them, but then I cropped out my personal information which made them get a little bigger, so they turned out a little weird. But, you can still see.

No real updates on anything else - I'm pretty tired - all the time pretty much, lol. Today especially. I woke up dragging, even though I got to sleep in. Then I spent all day at a bridal shower. It was a lot of fun, but even though I didn't do much but eat, I'm still so wiped out. Elijah's still not moving a whole bunch, I WAS getting what I thought were little kicks here and there, I'm now starting to think it wasn't anything at all, cuz I haven't really felt much lately. We have a doctors appointment Tuesday, and I'll be really glad to hear a heartbeat or see him again so I know everything's OK.

One more thing before I post the pictures - we *may* be shutting off the internet for awhile. Money is REALLY tight right now, and my husband wants to try to keep it, since it is a BIG source of our entertainment, but I would rather try to save as much money as possible. Anyway, I'll let you guys know if that's the route we decide to go, but I just didn't want it coming out of left field.

Here are Elijah's pictures. Sorry there are so many "boy" shots. I mean, I'm glad they take one or two, but I never understood why they always gave me like 8 shots of my son's penis. With Cayden, I seriously had a ton.





I love this picture because it shows a profile view, and I don't think I ever got a profile shot with Cayden. I think they're so sweet!







He was sucking his thumb when we first peeked in, but we didn't get a picture of that. Here's a pic of him waving though!







Waving again:




This looks nothing like a baby to me, more like the pictures you see on the weather channel of a hurricane. Is it a sign of the babies personality? I certainly hope not!





I always hate when babies look face on in 2d ultrasounds, they always look creepy to me:





You can't see his face here, but I LOVE how clear his body looks. He really looks like a teeny tiny baby:

Time flies...

I would have written, but there's nothing of much importance going on. We've been busy running around with Cayden, we take him outside every day and try to go on little trips on the weekend (to things we already have memberships too, like COSI or the zoo, so "free" trips essentially.) I just want to keep him active, especially because the more pregnant I get, the less active I'll be. Although, I'm hoping it helps me as well, go into labor on my own so I don't have to have a c-section.

We made friends with the neighbor who lives behind us and her son. Cayden is so cute with him, and Tyler (the little boy) hugs Cayden and kisses him. They also rough house a little, but I love him having kids his age to play with, because I feel like the parents get it. I don't have to worry about when Cayden's smacks someone - I mean, I do need to correct the behavior, but I know that other mom's get that children this age communicate like that, and I don't feel horrible about it. I'd post a picture of them together, but I dunno how his mom feels about that. Just suffice it to say that I'm even more excited to see Cayden with a baby brother.

We went to this park with Tyler and his Mom, and it was so much fun. The boys had a blast, and it was really need and free, which is always good! Here's a few pictures of that:






Another major milestone is that we moved Cayden into a big boy bed! His crib had been recalled, and we hoped to get him into a toddler bed before the baby came. I didn't think he was ready, but I thought since we needed to take the recalled crib back before we could buy a new crib, we should test out how well he did in a toddler bed. My Mom had a toddler bed that we borrowed. He did AMAZING. Didn't get up, went right to sleep, I was so impressed. So when we got the money from the crib, we decided to get him a really neat toddler bed. We settled on a firetruck bed:










As you can tell, he LOVES it.

The last activity we did with him, is COSI (a hands on science museum we have here) had an exhibit called the Science of big machines. So we took Cayden. I dunno who had more fun though, Jeremy or Cayden. They got to climb into the machines and even work a digger and then another machine (I think it was a loader?)





That's pretty much life right now. Spending a lot of time outside. My Mom has been a BIG help with getting baby stuff for us, it's a shocker and so amazing. I mean my Mom has always helped out, but I've just been surprised... I came home one day and one of the double strollers I had looked at (I had originally wanted this stroller made by phil and teds, but I gave up on that dream, it's like a 500 dollar stroller) was sitting in my living room. Then she went and got the new baby some clothes. So, all I have left to get is a few more clothes, and a crib. It's weird being done this early, but nice. Here's the double stroller, Cayden was testing it out:




This pregnancy is also super fast. I can't believe I'll be 16 weeks on Tuesday. I'm one month away from it being half over. It's just nuts, and part of me hopes that time keeps flying like this, and part of me wants things to slow down. I'm not ready! We also found my ultrasound pictures - they were at my Mom's, but now she's misplaced them again. So, she said she'd look for them. So hopefully by next week I'll have some pictures to post of Elijah.

Well, the results are in....

Sorry I didn't write yesterday, it was just... Not what I was expecting, and everything kind of went to hell. I know some of you think I complain a lot, so if you're sick of hearing me complain, here's where you should stop reading, because I'm at it again.

I had been looking forward to this ultrasound for weeks, and this last week especially time just drug on. I felt like it was NEVER going to get here. I had trouble sleeping Friday night, even though I was tired, because I was so excited.

I had originally wanted to go out to lunch before the ultrasound, but my Mom preferred we wait till after. So the plan was, ultrasound, lunch, Cayden takes a nap, and then we do some shopping to pick up some new clothes for the baby.

Well. Friday night we get a phone call from Mary Anne (my MIL) George (my FIL) is sick. But, he's still going to come. Honestly I was a little pissed. For one, she went on and on about how sick he was. If he's that sick he needs to be seen by a doctor, and for two, why are you going to come out and spread your germs? I mean I understand he wanted to be there, but I'm pregnant so if I get sick it's harmful to the baby as well, and I can't take any medicine, and then there's Cayden who's just a kid... It just irked me. Then Saturday we are on our way to the ultrasound when the place calls us. They're running behind 15 minutes. Which, is no big deal if it had actually been 15 minutes. An HOUR later we finally get to go back. Which by that time, Cayden is in desperate need of a nap, Jeremy and I and Cayden are super hungry, and everyone in general is just sick of waiting.

Cayden wants nothing to do with watching the ultrasound. And they have a little play area in the back for kids who don't want to watch, but Cayden at this point was so tired and so hungry that all he wanted to do was melt down - he didn't even want to eat the snack we brought, he just wanted to freak out. So I was distracted and couldn't really concentrate.

And then I saw the penis. We are having our second boy. It sounds horrible, but I was disappointed - I wanted a girl, and really felt like all signs pointed to a girl. The baby is healthy, and a baby, and that's all that matters, but I had just really planned for a girl, and well... He's not.

So then we leave, and I'm upset but OK, at least I thought I was. But then everyone keeps asking me... "Are you OK? Are you disappointed? Are you upset? What's wrong?" and I don't know if it's just me, but these question just tend to make me feel more emotional. So then I start to cry and I'm even more upset and it was just a wreck.

And of course, my in laws decide that THIS is a good time to ask my husband to take my father in law to the hospital.

I know this is going to make me sound like an asshole, but I'm over my father in law's health issues. I love him to death, I do. But I've said it before: I feel like... Why I care when he clearly doesn't? If he DID care, he'd take better care of himself, instead of stuffing himself with cheesy bacon fries and all that other crap. And I mean, I needed my husband at that point, and we still had a day full of plans. I was also being over emotional and selfish and damnit I just wanted him.

So my husband took my Father in law to the hospital, and while we had planned to have a nice lunch out, I didn't want too with Jeremy gone and my son having a meltdown, so I went with my Mom, we hit the drive thru and went to her house to lay Cayden down.

The rest of the day was kinda blah. We did get to go shopping, but we had less time then we thought and then Jeremy ended up elbowing me in the head really hard (it was an accident) so it hurt really badly... And we never did find out what was wrong with my Father in law. They said at first they thought it was congestive heart failure, but then it wasn't, so who knows? I just really wonder anymore if he's going to make it to the baby being born. And again, part of me feels really bad, and then the other part is really angry, like it's his own damn fault. But, to put the icing on the cake, I was going to put the ultrasound pictures up, and we cannot find them. I remember having them at my Mom's house and then... I dunno. I swore I put them in our diaper bag, but they're gone. And I feel horrible.

I'm more used to the idea of a boy now - the shock has worn off - and I realize how lucky I am to have a baby at all. The baby is healthy, though measuring a few days behind (which the tech said was normal - he may end up actually being a small baby, or his due date may just be off) His name will be Elijah, and if I find the pictures (hopefully I will!) I'll show you all just how adorable he is.

And time goes by, so slowly...

I wasn't going to write until Saturday, because frankly nothing has been going on. Sleeping is getting trickier but I don't know if that has anything to do with the baby or my insomnia. My morning sickness is back, which is blah BUT at least it's sticking to it's name and only popping up in the morning.

Pretty boring eh? Saturday I planned to write because we're going for our gender ultrasound, so I thought I'd have something exciting to announce. But, this week is going sooooo slowly, I can't believe it's only Thursday, and not even noon on a Thursday! I thought maybe writing this would kill some time.

I also wanted to say - sorry for ignoring the comments! I guess I don't have it set to receive comments in my emails, because I haven't gotten any notifications, so I just thought I wasn't getting any comments, and didn't think to check! So I wasn't trying to ignore you.

Alright so, as far as updating you on what's going on - Cayden's definately going through a growth spurt. Yesterday he took two naps, and he's a strictly one nap guy! We've also been hanging out in the backyard a lot, and it's SO funny. We go out there, and there are no kids out. I start pulling out Cayden's toys and they just flock. Mainly they're all boys, which makes me a little afraid - I now see what I'm in for! Especially at the age these kids are at, which I would guess is between 6-10. They want to be tough guys but they still get hurt feelings, or when they do get hurt in their rough and tumble games that boys play, they want their mom's. It gets a little crazy, but it's fun, and I love the fact that Cayden gets to be around kids. There's a boy across the yard who comes out, his name is Tyler, he's around 2 and he's adorable, plus I love his Mom, which is a bonus. Then there's Kareem next door who just turned one, and the kid cracks EVERYONE up. He runs around making noises, and laughs with his WHOLE body, it's so funny. Of course, when the big boys are around, the little boys want nothing to do with each other and idolize the bigger boys. It's funny, but also a little scary - the bigger boys don't always remember how little the kids are. Plus we had to break up a fight the other day. All in all, it's normal behavior, but it's still stuff I don't want Cayden to pick up, lol.

Anyway, my nights fly by, but my days... Well, this week they're dragging on. Maybe because I haven't been sleeping well, maybe because I want it to be Saturday already. Who knows?

As far as the baby... Well, again, nothing's really happening since the appointment. I believe I'm feeling movement, but this early in the game, it's always hard to tell. They happen more frequently though, so I think SOME of them have to be kicks.

I like to tell people though that now I'm officially pregnant - I cried ALL through the Glee finale. Like sobbed. My husband was making fun of him and I was in the middle of yelling at him about how insensitive he was and how could he not care about those kids when I had to laugh at how dumb I sounded. Yup, the hormones have landed.

Alright, it's finally noon, meaning it's finally time to make lunch and get Cayden fed and down for his nap. But, before I go, if any of you want to guess what the baby is, feel free to leave a comment! I think it would be interesting to see what everyone thinks.

To give some background (using Old Wives tales): I'm not really showing, so I don't know how I'm carrying. I am having morning sickness - I never had it with Cayden really. My pee is a dull yellow (which Old Wives Tales say means girl) the hair of my legs is not growing faster (Again, OWT say girl). However, if my boobs have grown, it hasn't been by much (OWT says that means boy) MOST of the Chinese Gender Calendars say girl, but I have had one or two that say boy (one of them is right, lol) The back of my sons hair grows in a point, which OWT says will be the opposite sex. All in all, I'm calling girl. Anyone else care to take a gander?

Second Doctors Appointment

Yesterday I crossed the threshold into the second trimester, which means my chances of miscarrying have gone down a LOT. However, this early in the game, I am still super nervous to go to the doctor. I mean just because I think I've made it to the safe zone doesn't mean I actually made it - some women have "missed miscarriages" where they don't have any symptoms of a miscarriage but go in to find that the baby stopped growing or the heartbeat stopped... It's not something anyone wants to think about, but it happens, and when you're pregnant, you're hyper aware of the fact that something bad could happen at any point.

Anyway, I know it sounds pessimistic, but I promise, it's pretty par for the course when you're pregnant, especially at this point because you don't really FEEL much. Most women's symptoms are going away, you can't feel the baby moving yet... With my son every time I went in to the doctor I was afraid they'd tell me it was all a big mistake, same with this one.

But, it was a pretty good doctor's appointment. First of all, I got a woman doctor, which I prefer. I'm going to a clinic so it's a crapshoot who you see, though I was able to schedule with the same doctor next time. Then she decided not to try to find the heartbeat with a doppler (which can be tricky to find this early) but to go ahead and give me an ultrasound. I got to see Sprout move for the first time! With my son, at 9 weeks he was bouncing around like crazy, but this one seems to be a calmer baby, even during this ultrasound s/he didn't move all that much.

The icing on the cake? I get to try for a VBAC! A VBAC is a vaginal birth after c-section. I thought I couldn't have one because of how they cut me - up and down. But the doctor said it didn't matter how they cut me on the outside, but on the inside. Again, I thought I was cut in a T shape, ruling a c-section out, but it turns out I was cut across, so I can try for a VBAC!

I am CRAZY excited about it.