Poor baby

It's been a trying couple of weeks. As I stated before, when one kid sleeps well, the other doesn't. Then I was sick. Then I was feeling better but got hit with some other stuff. Then I started to feel better and it seemed that Cayden was coming down with something - the way he was talking you could tell his throat hurt, and we thought he was getting an ear infection. And then it just went away, but now something seemed off with Eli and sure enough, he's been diagnosed with reflux.

I can't say I love every minute of my new life. It's tiring, it's hectic, and sometimes I get frustrated or fed up. But I love my boys. Cayden, as frustrating as he can be, cracks me up every day. I literally laugh every day because of him, and I mean... A lot of people can't say that they laugh once a day. I'm so lucky. And Eli... Well, how can you not love a newborn? They're so new and innocent, and while exhausting you just want to protect them with every ounce that's in you.

Which is why this whole reflux deal sucks REALLY bad. He's hurting. You can tell he's hurting and he's hurting because he eats - which, he has to do. And he lets out the most pathetic cry, and what can I do? A whole lot of nothing. I've become a walking spit up rag, dispenser of medicine that can take a week to kick in and makes him cry when he takes it (the doctor said it tastes horrible.) I've done everything I can to try to make it hurt less: I make sure he eats sitting up. He sleeps inclined. But I mean, that's it. I wait for the medicine can kick in.

It stinks too, because he actually seems to do better on breastmilk (which, from what I read babies usually do better on formula.) But when we give Eli formula, he seems to get upset. Which, makes me feel like a total failure when I can't produce enough and have to give him formula. We've switched over to sensitive, which seems to help with his insane gas, but he still vomits. I'm wondering if we should now try a soy based thing, because maybe on top of his reflux he's also lactose intolerant? I don't know. Again, all I know is I want to protect him and I can't. He's hurting and I can't do anything about it.

Alright. my laptop is going to die, and I should be sleeping, because for once all of my kids are sleeping (though it is time to wake Eli for his wonderful medicine, yay!) but I thought I'd leave you guys with some pictures, since it's been awhile.

















Next time I would like to dedicate a post to Cayden, and all the hilarious things he's done lately.

Oh, did I mention during all this craziness we're also potty training? Awesome.