Blessed

I know. I just posted a few hours ago, but I'm still awake (issues sleeping. Bleck.) and I just wanted to write somethings.

New Mom's are prone to complaining, I think. Being a new Mom is hard, you carried this baby for 10 months and it slowly took over your body, getting bigger and bigger and then you have to push it out (or, you know, get it cut out like a tumor. Which, it kind of is a tumor, in a way, I guess.) And that's taxing and tiring - but you don't get to rest, because suddenly you have this helpless human being who needs you to do EVERYTHING for it. No rest, AND your life changes dramatically - especially if it's your first.

So yeah, new mom's like to complain. And honestly who can blame them? It's a wonder they don't go into shock.

I think I mentioned in my last blog post that last night I stayed up late looking at pictures and reading old blogs... I stumbled across a blog entry about a little girl who was supposed to be due around the same time as Cayden - but instead came super early. She was born a little over 1 lbs. She wasn't supposed to live - but she did. I remember blogging about her because I was having such a rough time with Cayden - I was sick from the pancreatitus and all that crap and feeling sorry for myself because of all the procedures I had to go through and feeling exhausted being a new Mom and blah blah blah. And around this time I stumbled across her blog - and it made me take a good long hard look at myself. Yes, I did have to go through a couple of procedures, and yeah they sucked. But at least those procedures were routine - and I had an end in sight. This little girl, as small and young as she was, had to undergo open heart surgery. And who knew how many more surgeries or test she would have done on her.

Yes, getting up with a new baby every two hours is exhausting. But these parents had to travel to the hospital just to see their baby - leaving their other two children at home, and some days they couldn't even hold their baby.

The little girl's name was Kayleigh - sadly enough Kayleigh is no longer with us. She had one last procedure before she was supposed to go home - but something didn't go right, and she ended up brain dead.

I can't tell you how hard I hugged Cayden that night. And every time Kayleigh pops into my head, I have to go give him a hug - because I am so very lucky that he is here, and he is healthy.

With Elijah, there's another sick little girl. She was born in October, her name is Scarlett, and she has a brain tumor. They discovered it at her 2 month well baby check. Can you imagine that? Eli is two months. I can't being to go into my well baby check with what I think is my healthy chunkster only to be told - no, your baby has a brain tumor, and there is nothing we can do about it.

They got a second opinion, and the surgeon said they could operate. So far she is doing well, but she's not out of the woods. And again, I just feel so very lucky. Yeah, Eli has reflux - but it's not going to kill him. I don't have to sit up at nights wondering how much longer we have left.

I know I'm the Queen of complaining - But I just wanted to take a moment and let you guys know that even though I complain, I am completely aware of how very blessed I am. My boys are here with me, they are healthy, they are gorgeous, and I'm so very lucky for that. No new mother wants to think that her baby might get sick and die - but it's always a possibility, and I just want to thank God that so far that's not a possibility for us.

Send a prayer up for baby Scarlett please, and if you would like to read about her, she has a blog here: http://brandiandchris.blogspot.com/