Today I got asked what age I consider a young Mom to be. I have no idea. I guess I'm a young Mom? Although, 25 doesn't seem that young to me, even if it is a new 25. Do I feel older though because I have two children? I don't know, maybe. I've just always considered age to be the number of years you've been on this earth, not how mature or experienced you are. My sister's fiance is older than me - the same age as my husband (33) and I think he has a lot of growing up to do. However, one of my campers is 18 and I think she's more mature than a lot of people I know. Time doesn't make you more experienced or more mature, it's what you do with that time that does.
The person who asked me that question was asking because she overheard a complete stranger say very rudely that there were SO many young Mothers these days - as if it were a bad thing. It made me kind of laugh to hear this story - we live in a day and age where people don't report child abuse or help a stranger in trouble because it's "none of their business", but yet strangers still find it acceptable to comment on how I raise my children, or what age I have kids at.
People used to be considered old maids if they weren't married with kids by 25! And now it's the norm to wait till 40 and beyond. People say it's better to wait until later to have kids - you're more mature, more experienced, you tend to be better off financially, and you've had time to do your own thing. This can be true - but it can also not be true. And it can be argued that a younger Mom is in better shape to chase after her children, and since the age gap is closer, can better relate to her children. I just think being a good Mom isn't something that can be determined by age alone. I would never recommend for a 16 year old to get pregnant - BUT there are some 16 year olds who I know who would handle it MUCH better than others. And, I do know a single teenage mom who is a much better mother to her daughter than my 29 year old friend and her 29 year old husband are to their son.
Personally, I don't think anyone is ever really ready to have kids. Oh, sure, you can be more ready than others, but life always throws you curves, and you just can't plan for everything. Kids are unpredictable - the problems that arise with them are so very different. You just kind of have to bite the bullet and jump in.
I went off on a tangent that I didn't mean too. It just irks me I guess, how everyone seems to have an opinion on parenting - and they're not afraid to tell you when they think you're doing it wrong. I had parenting plans when I was pregnant with Cayden - how things were going to go. And then everything went to hell. It was rough, at first. I was depressed and felt kind of like a failure, because damnit that's not the type of Mom I was supposed to be. Then I realized that I was exactly the kind of Mom I should be. I loved my son more than words could say. I just didn't realize that different children and families need different things. One thing works on one child and it won't work on another. One thing works for one family but won't work for another.
Anyway, I came to update you guys on our trip, but it's almost 2 AM and I'm tired and still have to put clothes in the dryer. So next post will be trip update with pictures :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment