Oh MIL

I know you guys like hearing about my MIL, so here's the latest story:

We haven't seen them since the day after Christmas. We made plans a couple times, but they kept canceling - supposidly my MIL was "sick", and then we had bad weather so it got canceled again.

So we finally see them Saturday. We went out to dinner for my birthday - which was nice of them, they didn't have to take me out and I appreciate it. But it was really annoying.

First, they get there before us, and the place is busy. They had put our names on the wait list - but we had a large party (because they counted the kids - so we had 6 people) and then on top of that my MIL and FIL requested a specific table - they usually request NOT a booth, since they're bigger and can't fit in them, but this time they asked for a half booth/table for some reason.

Well, then my MIL starts complaining about why it's taking so long - and about how other people were going ahead of us. We tried to explain to her that those people had smaller parties but she didn't get it. Then when Jeremy mentioned that we were also waiting for the special table they requested my MIL got all worked up "I don't care WHERE we sit, I just want to sit."

...Well, you didn't tell them that. So that's why we have to wait. And it's not like she was like "Oh, I don't care anymore." She was acting like the hostess was an idiot because she couldn't read minds. Another reason I hate going out with them - they are always SO rude to people and it's embarassing.

So then she starts asking about what we plan on doing with our tax money - and asks if we plan to move out of my Mom's house. We're not. Don't get me wrong - I want to live in our own place, but it's actually working out better than I thought it would. She helps us, we help her. Right now too, we can't afford to move out - even if we used all our tax money. And we need to get a car, because the one we have is about to bite the dust.

Anyway, she hears this and gets upset - I'm pretty sure because she's jealous. But she says "I just worry about the kids and the smoke."

Which ticks me off. I mean don't get me wrong, the one thing I DO hate about living here is the fact that my Mom and brother smoke. I mean they don't smoke around the kids, but they still smoke inside, and I know it's not the best for them. But, when it comes down to a smoking household or the street - I think the house is better. If she was so fucking worried about the kids and the smoke, why didn't she offer her house? Not that we'd take it, but she has just as much room as my Mom does - if not more, because she and my FIL share a room, where as my brother needs his own room.

So I kind of rolled my eyes and said my normal "they're fine" whenever she starts in on that stuff.

She goes on to say "You won't be saying they're fine when they get asthma"

And the way she said it was just totally rude and snotty and basically like I didn't care about my kids. Which really ruffled my feathers - but I tried to stay calm, and answered "They don't have asthma." To which she answered "I didn't say they did - I said WHEN they get it." Making it clear that she thought they would get it.

I kinda snapped and just said "Cayden is 2 and a half years old and he's been sick twice. I think he's in damn good health and I think Jeremy and I are doing a wonderful job in raising them."

George, my FIL sensed that it was getting heated and kinda cut things off at that point saying "You're right, you are." and she dropped it.

However, thinking about it now, I wish I would have said more. I can't defend smoking - it's a nasty habit and I don't want my kids around it, but again, I wish I would have brought up the fact that they never offered their smoke free house, so obviously she wasn't TOO worried about it. Or the fact that she was so adament that they would get asthma - when I grew up in a smoking house with THREE smokers and a cigar smoker, my Mother smoked WHILE pregnant, and I don't have asthma - and neither does my Mom, sister, or brother who are actual smokers themselves. Or how about the fact that she doesn't smoke but she's sick with something every other day?

Then Jeremy told me when we were leaving how he doesn't understand why she's being so judgy - his Dad used to smoke and smoked around Jeremy!

...I just can't stand her.