I know, I know. More complaining. I'm sorry - but it's my blog and I'll cry if I want too.
I'm just to put a sarcastic spin on events, so at least I can laugh about them. And again, I'm also trying to keep my blessings in mind, because, well... As bad as it gets I know there's always a way for it to get worse. But I'm just REALLY hoping for a break here soon. Because I JUST dyed my hair for the wedding and already see a few grays popping back through - and I'm only 24 years old!
We cannot currently use our bank account because my husband is an idiot. I love him, I do, and he has SO many good qualities, but managing money is just not one of them. He ended up bouncing a check, which caused ME to bounce a check to my doctors office, who I have to go back too next week, which means I'll somehow need to come up with the money for the two visits and whatever they decide to charge me for bouncing that check. It makes me mad because he TOLD me to write the check, when I probably could have just had them bill me for it. It's also embarrassing. So now our bank account is in the hole, and my husband is kind of inferring that we're just not going to pay the bank - which is an idiotic thing to do, and I don't know why he would be like "oh, we're just not going to pay them!" Because we're going to NEED a bank account, and I just freaking put my name on that account. The whole thing is just a mess, and well... My husband is an idiot.
I then borrowed money from my sister, because I knew my boss was going to pay me, but then I ended up not seeing him, so I didn't get a check and I felt bad because I told my sister I'd pay her back Tuesday. I get the check today, and try to cash it at Wal-mart and they won't let me because while it's a payroll check, he hand wrote it and didn't type it. Luckily, I believe I can go to the bank it was written on and cash it, but it still irritates me, because I was hoping to get the money back to her tonight.
Then, I realized that my husband still hasn't called medicaid to check up on the application to see where we are in the process. My son has a well baby check at the end of the month and I've needed medicaid for, oh, about 7 months now because of the pregnancy. So I bug him to call - he had faxed the application a second time, and for the second time they STILL did not get it. GRRRRRRRR. Which means we have to pay for his well baby check out of pocket. I could find a clinic and all that, but honestly I love his pediatrician and he's had the same one since birth. And I know it sounds SUPER dumb, but it's just one thing I'm not willing to give up. As a child I was NEVER taken to regular appointments, and when I was taken I didn't have the same pedi... And I just want that for Cayden. I like having a doctor who I know, and who knows him.
So I call the office to find out how much it will cost to pay for it out of pocket. And the office refers me to billing, and billing refers me to the phone nurse, because it all depends on what vaccines he needs, and the phone nurses FINALLY call back, but of course since I'm at work, they can't get ahold of me, and my husband claims he never missed a call, but got a voicemail saying that Cayden needs no vaccines.
Which, just doesn't sound right to me. But since Jeremy didn't answer his phone and I wasn't able too, neither one of us could question this. And I was going to call back tomorrow to speak with them, only after I left the office, I realized I left my phone in the office. They lock the doors at 5:30 and it was now 6:00 so I couldn't go back in to get it and will be without a phone until I'm back at work.
Icing on the cake is my Mother in law. She keeps bugging me about Cayden's stupid birthday party - she has all these "requirements" but doesn't want to help pay or plan any of it. Then she keeps pestering me about what to buy him. I gave her a list, a very SPECIFIC, detailed list, because I know how she is. It was pretty long so they'd have variety, and detailed, AND I told her literally 5 or 6 times what NOT to buy him because we were getting it for him. I even showed her pictures.
First she keeps calling Jeremy about what to buy him. Then she buys him shit that isn't on the list and calling to see if it's OK - uh, if you really cared that much, you'd stick to the list lady. That's the stuff Cayden likes, that's why I put it on the freaking list. And I mean it's not like everything on the list is uber expensive - it honestly varies from things that are less than a dollar, to a wagon that's 100 dollars, with prices all in between, because I know how they are with money. Sometimes they're super weird and say everythings too expensive, and sometimes they act like they have all the money in the world (Case in point, last Christmas, when they told us they couldn't afford to buy Christmas presents, which was fine - but then went out and bought Cayden a 200 dollar train table?)
Anyway. What does my MIL do? She goes out and buys him the ONE fucking toy I told her NOT to buy. And it wasn't even in a nice "oh, I know how much you wanted it for Cayden and I know your money issues" type thing. I know her ass did it on purpose, and I hate her. I think she's a horrible human being and I made her take the damn thing back. I have been BUSTING my ass trying to save where I can and rack up the swag points to get Amazon cards JUST so I could buy this stupid 40 dollar toy for him. I mean again, I KNOW it sounds dumb, but it's the ONLY think we're getting him for his birthday, and right now I have 30 dollars in Amazon cards that I'm selling to my sister - so the toy at the most would be 10 bucks, and I may be able to get more cards before his birthday. It just makes me mad, it was the one thing I wanted to get him, and she stole it. And she did it for her own selfish reasons.
Then she tried to give Jeremy a guilt trip when he told her to take it back - "we had to drive all the way to the walmart on the south end of town because nobody else had it." Which is BULL - we were at my friends rehearsal dinner Saturday night that was around the corner from their house. We stopped at their walmart because I realized I had never gotten a wedding card for them - and we saw the toy there, in stock.
Then she came over tonight and we were all sitting out back and Cayden was playing with my neighbors boy. And NO JOKE every five freaking seconds she's going "Where is he? Is he alright over there? Jeremy he's over there, is that OK? Well... I dunno if that's OK. Cayden! Cayden!"
All the kid was doing was playing in the yard. He plays in that yard practically every night, and he's FINE. And she just would not SHUT UP. I just wanted to ask her how the hell he had managed to survive so long without her micromanaging? I mean the kid hasn't even had a serious cut yet. Obviously I'm doing something right without her being here and over my shoulder.
It's just been a very aggrivating couple of days, and I'm about ready for it to be over. Plus it doesn't help that Jeremy's hours at work keep getting cut. He seriously went into work this morning, clocked in at 6 and was told at 6:20 to go home because there was no work. He got paid for 20 minutes, and drove probably a half hour to get there.
Life is not grand right now. Not even a little bit.
Oh, you poor thing! What a week. Have you talked to the bank? I don't know what your checking account history is, but if this is the first overdraw in a year or more, you have a good chance of getting the fees refunded. I worked at a large nat'l bank for 7 years, and I've done call center work for a credit card company. Cry. Tell them that you're pregnant and your husband lost his job and you have to pay the doctor, and you just don't know what you're going to do. Cry some more. They will likely calm you down, be very empathetic, and see what they can do to help you.
ReplyDeleteWe bank with a smaller bank, and we have overdrafted before - and they've been pretty good about refuding the charges. This time they really can't help us, because honestly it WAS my husband's fault, and there's just NO denying it.
ReplyDeleteJeremy got a payday advance from a check cashing place, but then we he got let go of again, couldn't pay it back - which I guess has happened before (and he didn't tell me) and all he did was take out all our money before the check came in so the bank would bounce just THAT check - and we'd owe the cash checking place and not the bank. Which still isn't a brilliant idea and had I known about the whole deal I would have TOLD him was a bad deal, but I didn't. So this time he was under the impression that if the funds weren't in the account to cover it - they wouldn't cash they check. But they did, of course, and it ate up his whole check that was in there, and THEN some. I mean again, it's our fault. Or rather his fault, because I knew nothing about it.
My husband just isn't good with money and likes to do too much and then try to figure out a way to play catch up later - and more often than not it comes back to bite him in the ass, and he STILL hasn't learned his lesson. So I think I'm going to take over our bills and start managing things. I'm not the best with money either, but at least I know not to write checks you can't cash.
Your mother in law sounds horrible, really can't follow written instruction.... that would just bug the crap outa me. I totally understand you wanting to get him that gift... and as Mommy you get first dibs at that kinda stuff anyways. I love that your husband stuck to the plan and made her take it back.
ReplyDeleteKat- I was sitting behind him while he was on the phone going OFF - which with her, I usually am calm and just like whatever. I may bitch about it to you guys, but if I think she can hear me, I won't say anything. I don't know if it was pregnancy hormones, the stress of the last couple days or what, but I was LIVID. My husband TRIED to claim it was an honest mistake - it wasn't.
ReplyDeleteFor his first birthday we were considering getting Cayden a wagon. Again - I told her and George NOT to buy it. We had a specific wagon we wanted and showed them it, and said "Don't get him this, it's what we plan on getting him." Again - I did it a couple of times because I know she "forgets" things.
Jeremy calls her one day and she's at the store. Looking at wagons to buy Cayden.
Really lady? That time I let it go, and told her "OK, you can get him the wagon"
And of course, since I conceded, guess what she didn't buy him? A wagon. It's just a power struggle with her.
In the future I'm just going to let her buy whatever, and then let her know if we get him the same thing I'll be returning his.
Honestly, I would agree with you when you said you would handle the finances. It seems like you would be more conscientious on your statements and how much you have in the bank at any given time. I just think men think they have the best solutions to everything haha. Hopefully your horrid MIL backs off. I think you need a face to face with just you and her. It's obviously been going on for awhile and you do not need the stress to continue. You're his mother, you get to decide what you get him for birthdays, from now on I would just mention that you're getting him something else, as a trap, so that she will get him that instead ha.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya on the finances. I took over everything when my husband and I moved in together (before our wedding). It was just easier for me to do it. Due dates elude him. Augh.
ReplyDeleteI also, sadly, hear you on the in-law thing. Mine are not so bad, but we went through a weird situation with a high-chair right after Stella was born. We registered for one. They told us they looked at it and found all these reasons why it wasn't good. They then talked up this other one. It was a whole long discussion about it. I looked at it online and said it looked fine. I figured they would get that one. They ended up getting an entirely different one. It's a fine high-chair and matches our stroller/car seat (which isn't necessary, but I think that's why they got it). They said if we didn't like it, to let them know and they'll give us the receipt. Well, of course we're not going to say we don't like it, even if we didn't. Isn't that what gift receipts are for? I was shocked at how few gift receipts I've received with baby gifts. I thought that was common sense. Am I missing something?
I imagine we will have similar situations in the future.