This post is a rant, and it's chock full of MY opinions. I do realize that many women have different opinions - and that's fine. But just be forewarned, these are MY opinions.
I think most of you know Cayden's birth story... My doctor with Cayden... Was not very good. I thought at the time she knew what she was doing, because hey - she was a doctor and I wasn't, right? But looking back... I dunno. I think some professions people put a lot of blind, undeserving faith into - like fireman, policeman, doctors... I'm not saying that people in this profession are automatically bad or anything... I just think we're a lot more willing to automatically trust someone in those fields, if that makes any sense. I just think people are more willing to question a mechanic about choices rather than a doctor. And that's what I did with my doctor - I figured she knew best.
Again, hindsight is 20/20 and I know see how full of shit she was. She misdiagnosed my gall bladder attacks for heartburn, which led to my pancreatitus. She automatically scheduled me for my c-section the day after my due date because my son was larger, and she deemed me small, and didn't even want me to try.
Then I just wanted my son out, and since she told me that was the safest way possible, well, I believed her. However, you live and learn. Not that it ended up mattering - I ended up actually NEEDING the c-section because of my pancreatitus.
I just think in this day and age doctors are pushing c-sections more and more - and this is actually a fact. C-section rates are sky high. And I don't really think they need to be.
Don't get me wrong - MANY medical advances have saved babies and I do know that there are cases of legit c-sections. Mine was a wonderful example - had I gotten the section for the "large baby" that, in my opinion, would have been bullshit. But with the pancreatitus, it really was the safest thing for both Cayden and I. I needed it.
But I think plenty of Mom's follow doctors orders and don't realize that they may not need a section, and that a section is a major surgery that has HUGE risks to both Mom and baby. Again - when there are legitimate complications in birth/pregnancy, sometimes those risks are far less than the risks labor would bring. But sometimes I do believe doctors schedule sections for their own convienance. Because they don't want to be troubled with what MIGHT turn into a complicated birth (and let's face it - ANY birth can turn out complicated. You can't predict the future.) I think doctors SOMETIMES like the fact that they know when they're going in, know when they'll be leaving, and can charge an INSANE amount of money for it.
Again, I REPEAT, because I KNOW some section mama's get defensive: SOMETIMES SECTIONS ARE NECESSARY AND ARE LIFE SAVING. I just don't think that happens as often as sections are preformed.
My whole triad here was brought on because I really want what's called a VBAC - Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. There are certain risks attached with it and I do understand why all c-section mom's don't choose this route. Besides, just because you do opt for it, doesn't mean you'll get it. But, I do believe it's the right choice for me.
And I feel like my odds are pretty good. I don't feel my baby is large (not that that really matters - women have been pushing out babies for YEARS, and MANY women have had larger babies than my 8 lbs 10 oz son.) There's been a good amount of time between my pregnancies... I haven't had any complications yet - knock on wood - and all in all, it seems like I have a good chance.
Especially considering that the first doctor I had during this pregnancy was the one who suggested the VBAC - I originally thought that because of how they cut me I was not allowed to VBAC, and she searched my files and found that yes, I was able to have one.
But then she had to leave, and I got a new doctor. And this doctor seemed more hesitant to do it - but still seemed willing. So that was good with me.
Now... Now I'm not so sure. I was in there Friday for my lovely rogham shot and my even lovelier glucose testing. (Which, btw, warm glucose? is DISGUSTING.) I'm sitting in the room waiting for my doctor to come in, when I hear her outside the door talking to someone. She says "This one's a c-section, but she wants a trial of labor."
...This one is NOT a section. This one has a name, and it is not c-section, it is Laura. This one does NOT want a c-section, and this one doesn't just want a "trial of labor" this one wants a VBAC.
So that agitated me. Then she comes in, and asks me if I still am considering a VBAC. Nope - not considering it - it's what I want, and my mind is not going to change, thanks. So then she starts once again talking about the risks, which I do know all about. And then she says "Well, we're going to schedule you for an ultrasound at 32 weeks and see how big baby is. If you're carrying a toddler, we might want to reconsider."
A.) I LOVE how "we" got put into this. WE are not reconsidering ANYTHING. I am the one who has to carry this baby for 9 months. I am the one who either has to push it out or get cut open. It is not OUR decision, it is MY decision.
B.) Ultrasounds are notoriously bad at predicting baby's size - especially this late in the game - and can be wrong up to 2 lbs. Jeremy had two seperate co-workers induced early for large babies - both of which were on the small side.
The more she talks the clearer it is to me that she is going to pull whatever trick she has up her sleeve to take away my VBAC. My Mom thinks I'm paranoid - and that she won't do it unless she has good reason to do it. But again, I really believe this is just the whole "blind faith" thing I was talking about earlier. A doctor would NEVER schedule a c-section JUST because it's easier - they must have a valid reason for doing so, right?
And again - if she told me my baby had a heart condition and labor might be too stressful - no questions asked I would schedule that c-section in an instant. If I need it, for me or the baby, I will do it. But because I MIGHT be having a larger baby? (which, for the record, I put money on the fact that this baby will be smaller than Cayden was. It just doesn't feel as large as he ever did. And all the issues I had with Cayden? I don't have with this one.)
I just don't buy it. And it really frustrates me that I may not even get a chance because my doctor isn't on the same page as me.
That is all I guess. Frustration.
You should write out your birth plan and give it to your doctor on the next visit. Let her know that you understand that emergencies take place, but in the event of completely smooth sailing, you want what you want. My doctor is a wonderful doctor and I love him to pieces. But, mom knows what's best. I was 10 days overdue when my son was finally born. The day before, the doc gave me an ultrasound and said, "We're looking at a 7-8 pound baby." I'm 5'8", so even an 8 pound baby wasn't going to necessitate a C-Section. Jacob was actually 9 lbs 7 oz and 23", labor went on forever, and there was 4th degree tearing. So, doc said if he'd known, he would have given me a C-section and that any other babies he delivered for me, he'd insist on C. I disagreed. I was fine, the baby was fine. So, why would I have needed a C? My insurance changed when I had Sarah, so I had to change docs. I was truthful about Jacob's size and the tearing, but I never mentioned C-sections--and neither did my new doc. It's a good thing, too. Because Sarah was 6 lbs 12 oz, and was the easiest delivery I could imagine.
ReplyDeleteThat sucks that your doctor doesn't want to follow your game plan. You need to insist on it though, make sure that you get what you want.
ReplyDeleteI had an emergency c-section with Griffin. My entire pregnancy, my pelvic bones barely moved and my doctor constantly commented (worriedly - if that's a word?) on how narrow my pelvis was. We did an ultrasound at 39weeks and it measured my son at around 8 lbs, which she told me could be about a pound off either way, but she was concerned that I wouldn't be able to push out anything larger than 8 lbs and told me that if I didn't go into labor on my own by my due date, she was going to have me induced. So, my due date came and went, and I went into the hospital the next night for induction. It started off pretty well... I got up to 3 or 4cm pretty quickly, but got stuck at 7cm. And then Griffin and I were both "in distress". I'm not 100% what happened, but I know my blood pressure had dropped very, very low and they put me on oxygen. I think Griffin's heart rate was dropping as well, but, I was kind of out of it at that point.
Griffin wound up only weighing 7lbs 4oz at birth, but even that was too big for me to push out... so I was told that basically I'll never be able to have a child naturally, unless some sort of a miracle happens and my hips decide to actually spread next time.
I had two c-sections. The first one was unplanned - I had every intention of pushing that little girl out, but she just wasn't coming, so we had to do an emergency c. Afterward, I was told that my cervix was too narrow (I think) and would have to have c-sections with any other children. Of course, he is the professional, I didn't even question it. My scheduled c with our son was full of anxiety. It's almost better NOT knowing what to expect. The day finally came and after being put off because some other chick was taking up the delivery room pushing out twins, I finally got my 9lb. 5oz. little boy.
ReplyDeleteI had baby blues something awful with both of my kids. I believe having c-sections has something to do with it. Childbirth is supposed to be a natural thing. When you have a c, I feel like the body doesn't get to finish what it started and all of these hormones are just going bananas. I wonder if there's ever been a study on it. When it happened to me, none of my friends had kids yet, and my mom and MIL had no idea what to do with me. Now I hear about baby blues more and more. Just my theory.
Laura - you are mama bear. You know your body and you have good instincts. Listen to them. mum
I should clear up one thing - I do think some women are smaller down there and have bigger babies, and may need some help (like a section) getting them out. My neighbor's son got stuck in the canal and she needed the section to get him out.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I just don't think that's something they can judge until you try. They never gave me a chance to try. The body can do some amazing things - I think mine deserves a shot.
It's just hard because from what I've read a doctor can drop you from the practice until you're 34 weeks. Which is why I think they're scheduling the ultrasound at 32 weeks. If I refuse it like I want too, they can drop me. And then I'm stuck, because not many doctors want a woman that far along, especially one without insurance that wants a VBAC. So I guess I'm stuck smiling and nodding and being the agreeable patient until I hit 34 weeks, and then I can let the bitch out of the bag and just tell them - I'm doing what I want unless you have a VALID medical reason for me not too.
I hope you are able to get the VBAC! Keep pushing for it!
ReplyDeleteI ended up with an emergency c-section, too. I've bored you with my labor stories already. Also the fact that I love my doctor. I had told him around week 20-ish that I had a dream that he came in to the delivery room and said I needed a c-section -- honest truth -- so we talked then about how a decision like that would be made. He stressed that it was mine.
Of course, I never imagined we'd be having that conversation for real, but Stella was definitely stuck. He let me remain at 5 cm and -1 station for four hours in complete misery before he recommended the section (he said he'd expected me to be at +2 at that point so baby was NOT moving down). Nurses assured me repeatedly that he's not one to just do it for convenience. At my 2-week checkup I asked him again how it happened. He told me that if there was any way I could have had her naturally, he would have "pushed me through it." My concern was that he did because I was so miserable in labor. But he, and the nurses who were there, told me repeatedly that baby was just NOT coming out.
Given how stubborn and "my way or the highway" my baby is now, I believe them! haha. She definitely does things her way -- five days late, one day before induction and then getting stuck!
Keep us updated!
It must be so scary to be trying to deliver and suddenly have something go wrong. At that point I think anyone would be like "screw the birthing plan!! Just get my baby out of there!!!" My best friend's baby went into distress during the birth (he had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck) but it was too late to give her a c-section. It was only after she had given birth that the doctor told her how close they had come to a real catastrophe. But to have someone else's plan imposed on you... nuh-uh. I also agree that doctors tend to deitify themselves and would rather avoid complications that might otherwise tarnish their reputations. Stand firm, Laura!!!
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