I'm on my phone, so I apologize in advance for any tpos, it's realllly hard to go back and edit... But, I'm reallllly bored. I should probably becleaning but I'm not feeling so hot today - a combination of this cold I have, lack of sleep from ayden waking up a bunch of last night, ad some morning sickness coming back (because I was so tired this morning and had a bunch of errands to run I didn't eat until like noon - which having an empty stomach for that long is a no-no while pregnant)
besides, we're taking cayden to my husbands family day at work tomorrow, and while it'll be fun, it's going to be HOT. So I'm resting now to prep for that.
these next couple weeks are so full - we're finally getting around to taking cayden to get his 18 month pictures done - 4 months too late. I was just going to leave it alone until he turned two but we got a coupon for a free 8x10 and sitting fee, so I figured why not. Now I just need to decide what to put him in.
one of my friends gave birth to her baby yesterday. I'm insanely jealous. Halfway done seems far along until I realize that I have 5 months lft. I'm getting impatient! Buuuut, on the other hand... I don't know. I'm glad for the time we have left. I mean it's all selfish reasons - it's hard enough trying to find a sitter for just ayden. When I have two it's going to be impossible. And obviously I knew that would be the case when we started trying, and it's not a HUGE deal, but just something I'm enjoying while I still can. Same as time with cayden - I wanted cayden to have a sibling, and knew I would have to split my time between them. What I didn't realize is how anxious that would make me. I know I'll love both kids, but I'm worried that I'll favor one over the other. And what do I do if they're both crying? Both wanting to be held? Don't get me wrong, this is again, something I was aware of, but again, I'm enjoying these last few months as a family of three. I'm enjoying lavishing attention on cayden and not feeling like it'll never be equal, if that makes any sense.
I guess it doesn't help that I'm the last of 3. Theone with the fewest pictures (because mom was too busy and too broke to print pictures of me) the one with theepty baby book. I'm not really resentful (anymore, ha)but I just realize - you take a zillion pictures with your first because you have the time. There's one of you, and one baby. You don't have to watch/play/chase after another. And I mean - even if I took a zillion pictures of this one cayden would end up in a lot of them. I mean I will never be able to spend the type of time with this one as I did with cayden, because cayden was the first and only.
I hope I'm making sense. I'm not trying to complain, honestly. I'm just trying to explain that on the one hand I want the baby to be here. To meet it and hold it, to see it with cayden. But in the meantime I'm enjoying how things are right now.
Not to sound like a middle child but being the 2nd and 3rd out of 4 girls, my fellow middle child sister and I didn't have very many pictures at all. While we had pictures of my older sister and I and then the three of us later on, me alone was basically non-existent. The youngest has a ton. You may want to try and take individual pictures though, it backfired for my mom when putting graduation boards up for my sister and I. However, I can understand the convenience of having everyone together. Again, I'm not trying to sound stereotypical middle child syndrome haha. How exciting though that you only have 5 months left!!
ReplyDeleteSo, here's my worst case scenario. My daughter was born when my son was 22 mos. old. Jacob was always very clingy to me and sharing mommy was sure to be hard for him. Well, when Sarah was about a week old, I had to venture to the grocery store. I got there before I realized I'd forgotten my sling, so I had to put Sarah's car seat in the cart seat, which meant Jacob had to walk. Well, he screamed from one end of the store to the other. He couldn't believe that he'd even lost his seat in the grocery cart to this little interloper! It was so bad that a friend of a friend later confessed to me that she heard screaming, looked around the corner and saw it was us, and tiptoed away to another part of the store so I wouldn't be embarrassed to see someone I knew.
ReplyDeleteBy the time we got to the checkout line, Sarah was ready to nurse, and she started wailing. I felt like the whole store was staring at me, and I started crying right along with my two babies. A kindly set of grandparents were checking out in front of me. The lady instructed her husband to take their groceries to the car, took Sarah out of my arms (and quieted her down instantly since she didn't smell like milk) so I could put my food on the counter, and gave Jacob a pep talk about being a big brother and a good helper to his mommy. She hugged me when I was done, told me that she'd survived this part of her life and I would to, and went on her way. Then a woman about 10 years older than I was walked up to me and told me if I felt like every mom in the store was looking at me, it was just because they remembered what it was like, and their hearts went out to me.
You'll get through the 2 baby stage somehow. You probably won't remember how, because you'll be a walking zombie who sleeps in bits and pieces here and there. But, you'll manage. You'll realize you have the capacity to love both children 100% and that you love them both for different reasons, but the same amount.
And when it gets rough, us mommies are here to listen to you cry!
Awww, babsie, that really makes me feel better! Sometimes I'm just SO excited for the baby to be here - I can't wait to see Cayden with him, and seeing them grow up together. And on the other hand, I'm so nervous! Some days I can't believe, only five months left - it's not enough time! And other days I'm like, Wow, five months is SUCH a long time!
ReplyDeleteHe he he, I'm the younger of two and my baby book is filled to about page 3. My sister's book is filled to kindergarten!!
ReplyDeleteBabsie, I'm so glad you were blessed enough to have kind strangers around you, because, let's face it, most people would've turned the other way. I'm not a mom yet, yet I can't help but wonder how or if I'll be able to cope with screaming children (I unfortunately have a low tolerance to children's screams).